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hermannsthumb · 3 years ago

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you should totally do something with ksci janitor’s vamp newt it’s so just so good

i sure will! in a vampire mood this weekend. @k-sci-janitor's vampire newt found here. warnings for quick mention of drinking, allusions to sexy stuff, and also the different kind of drinking you'd expect from a vampire fic (tho on the vague side)

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The circumstances that led Newt down the unwitting path of immortality and general un-dead-ness are, in hindsight, honestly kind of embarrassing. It'd be one thing if he could say it happened in the pursuit of, like, knowledge, like the fierce jellyfish sting scar on his wrist leftover from a research expedition when he was twenty-two or the equally fierce one on his knee received in response to his question (at the age of five) of what would happen if I jumped out of this very tall tree?, or even something unrelated to his extensive biology career, something impressive, y'know, Van Helsing style, something like tracking down some vampire king and barely escaping with his life (un-life?)—not what really happened, which was little more than a bad date. And not even the worst date that Newt's been on, if you can believe it.

Newt was young and stupid then. He still is young and stupid, technically, though the former by appearance only. (Eternally pushing thirty. If he could've picked, he would've done twenty-eight, just before his handful of grey hairs started cropping up. Newt's had almost forty-five years of staring in the mirror at those four fucking grey hairs. He gave up dyeing them around the nineties. Not worth it. Still annoying.) He liked to do what young and stupid people did, like get stupid tattoos, and have a stupid haircut, and get drunk at stupid punk shows and not stumble home until he'd had at least one regrettable hook-up with a stranger and maybe lost his wallet. (The two were often related.) That particular thing was what did him in that night. It was a different time back then, man—if a dude showed even the slightest inkling that he ran in Newt's sort of circle, if you caught his drift, Newt fucking jumped at the chance.

(The band was on their second set of the evening and Newt had already screamed himself hoarse with singing along. He'd ducked outside in a back alleyway for only a second to get some fresh air, the club suddenly too hot and smokey for him to handle, and was just about to go back inside and close out his tab for the night when he realized he wasn't alone. There was someone—he was sure—lurking in the shadows a few feet away. He could hear breathing. He could see—eyes, maybe, in the dim neon light of the bar sign overhead. "Hello?" he'd called.

"Have a light?" the person called back.

They emerged from the shadows, and Newt felt himself relax at once. It was some spooky-looking guy he remembered seeing in the club, leather jacket, boots heavier than Newt's, dark hair and eyeliner. Tall. Newt remembered him, firstly, because he thought he was hot, and secondly, because he swore he caught the guy staring at him at least three times, and to Newt, that was as good as any pick-up line. He was wagging an unlit cigarette at Newt now. He was taller than Newt thought he was back in the bar—much taller, at least a full head on Newt. His eyes were a golden-brown, almost yellow, like a cat's, and Newt found himself unable to tear his own away from them. "L—light?" Newt echoed.

The guy stuck the cigarette in his mouth and arched a perfect eyebrow. Newt didn't smoke, but he did keep a lighter on him for occasions like this. He fumbled through his pockets for it while the guy stepped closer. "I was watching you," he told Newt, while Newt raised the lighter to the cigarette, "in there."

The flame danced and glinted against his eyes. Newt swallowed. "Uh-huh?" he said.

He flicked the lighter shut, leaving them both bathed in nothing but pink neon. A hand slid up against the wall next to Newt's right shoulder. Another plucked at the left lapel of his jacket. Newt was still staring at those eyes. "What's your name?" the guy said, in a puff of cigarette smoke.

"Um." Newt's leather jacket was being pushed off his shoulders. He felt his long hair being tucked to the side of his neck. All at once something seemed in snap in Newt—some reminder of where he was, and what he came here hoping for in the first place. Some hot dude was eyeing Newt up all night long, and now he was actually coming onto Newt, and Newt was about to get laid. He grinned. "Newt," he said. "Just call me that. You were watching me, huh?"

"All night," the guy said.

Newt's jacket hit the ground with a soft thump. A knee was being pushed between his. Newt felt his cheeks heat up a little—he wasn't used to people being this forward with him, and especially not in a semi-public place like this. Usually they at least made a show of offering up their apartment first. "What, um, what for?" he said.

They were kissing. Newt was clinging to the back of his jacket. And then he was kissing Newt's neck, and then he was—

"That kinda hurts," Newt mumbled. "Um, dude, I think your—your fuckin', tongue piercing cut me, or something. It's—"

It was hard to keep his eyes open. His neck felt weird. The guy was into biting, apparently, biting really hard, and yikes, that was going to leave a super embarrassing hickey that Newt would have to explain to his students somehow on Monday, but it also felt really good, like, Newt was maybe getting off kinda good, and Newt thought, dizzily, that he should at least return the favor before he finished up and collapsed in a happy heap on the ground. So he did.

The guy pulled back with a hiss. "Ow. What—?"

Newt tasted something coppery in his mouth, and he panicked and swallowed on instinct. "Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry," he slurred. His voice sounded like it was a million miles away. "I was trying to be—sexy. Um." There was blood on the guy's chin. He was staring at Newt in something akin to horror. Dark circles were spotting Newt's vision. "I think you cut your lip," he said, and then he passed out.

Newt was alone when he woke up. It was still dark, too. He walked the two miles home, collapsing in bed, fully-clothed, just before dawn, and he didn't wake up again until sunset. He forgot his jacket, but at least he remembered his wallet this time.)

So, anyway, Newt thinks he can be forgiven if he...embellishes stuff a little when, for the first time in his whole long life, he finally spills the details to someone. Also, no way is he admitting the truth to Hermann of all people.

"There were a bunch of murders in the area at the time," he says, while Hermann, angled on his side next to him in bed, watches him raptly. It's kind of weird pillow talk, but their pillow talk rarely isn't weird. Usually Hermann will launch into a critique of Newt's latest pet theory before Newt's even caught his breath. At least he very courteously waited for Newt get a glass of water from the bathroom first this time. "Really brutal ones. Like, throats torn out, blood drained. Really nasty shit. Everyone was saying they were some kinda bizarre wolf pack attacks, but I knew better."

"Of course you did," Hermann says, running his hand down Newt's chest, and Newt can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. (He has a feeling he is.)

"You bet," Newt says. "It took me months of, um, super hard research. Finally I hunted him down to this—" Newt debates the coolest lair possible of a vampire, and then remembers Lost Boys, which, even though he resents it slightly for totally stealing the vampire vibes he was going for, is still a kick-ass movie. "—this weird cave, where he lived. The king of the vampires. I won, obviously, but he fought back, and he managed to infect me just before I hammered the, um, the wooden stake into his heart."

"So courageous," Hermann says. He reaches up and tucks a piece of Newt's long hair back. Hermann being totally cool with the whole vampire thing, and maybe even possibly into the whole vampire thing, is probably the last thing in the world Newt expected from him. They're no strangers to hooking up during long late nights of science, but Newt swears it's gotten more frequent. "You must've been terrified."

"Nah," Newt says, though he remembers the glint of the flame off those yellow eyes, and he shivers. Hermann notices; his eyes, not yellow, but a warm shade of brown that makes Newt feel like he's being wrapped in a blanket, soften. If Newt could still blush, he would. "I'm—um—I'm pretty brave."

Newt hadn't exactly been planning on telling Hermann about the whole thing, but (last week) he had the very unfortunate timing of beginning a late-night dinner just as an oblivious Hermann strolled back into the lab to pick up his forgotten pair of glasses. To his credit, he only freaked out a little when he saw Newt draining a blood bag like a fucking Capri-Sun, and even then (after what felt like ten years of horrible, horrible silence) all he said was "You're the one who's been stealing those from medical?"

Look. Newt hasn't drank from a human being the entirety of his un-life, and he doesn't plan on it any time soon. He's...a vegetarian. Effectively. It's sort of the reason he picked up a medical degree along the way once he got tired of breaking into blood banks. Even if it's still a little ethically dubious to steal blood like that, at least he's not swooping around on unsuspecting people like that—goth asshole who swooped in on him did. (Newt's never managed to find out who he was—he suspects he was some sort of vampire drifter in town that night just to find a victim. And Newt just had to think with his dick at the worst possible time.)

Hermann tucks another strand of Newt's hair back. Newt also did not expect how fast Hermann became cool with the whole thing, but on the other hand, giant aliens are clawing their way out of the ocean on a bi-monthly basis these days. It's hard to be skeptical about most things. ("Well, it does make logical sense," Hermann had said with an eyeroll. "When you consider some of your rather more bizarre quirks, I mean. I ought to have guessed it ages ago. I suppose that's why you have that awful haircut," and that stung, because yeah, Newt hasn't felt like changing it up since the seventies, and why should he, it kinda rules? but he just laughed it off and said, "You're one to fucking talk, dude!") "Newton," Hermann says now, gently, "what actually happened?"

Newt sighs. Hermann always knows when he's lying about shit. "I was making out with a vampire in an alleyway and then he bit me. And—um—I kinda didn't notice at first, 'cause it felt... good."

"Mm," Hermann says. The corner of his mouth twitches up. "That's more along the lines of what I expected. That, or you were hounding him for details like a proper biologist and he got tired of answering your inane questions."

"Very funny," Newt says. "Ha."

Hermann rolls away from him and stretches his arms above his head. Newt watches his throat work as he yawns, swallowing down a sudden lump in his own, and he feels a surge of something hot and—alien—in the pit of his stomach. "Over forty years," Hermann says. He picks up Newt's discarded sweatshirt from the floor and tugs it down over his head. "You must get terrifically lonely."

Newt half-shrugs. "I guess. I'm kinda used to it by now." His dad (who never brought up how Newt's aging seemed to be at a standstill when they saw each other, not once) is long-gone. Newt's tried dating, but no one's ever seemed to be into it as much as he is—and besides, it's not like he could ever do the actual til death do us part thing unless he went against every ethical bone in his body and made someone like him. When the internet became a thing, he considered making a forum or something to find more of his kind, but the thought everyone just being like the guy who accidentally turned him in the first place terrified him and he killed the page before it even left infancy. So, without any better ideas, Newt forged some paperwork and leaned pretty hard into the world of academia to fill up his sad little hole of a heart, resigned himself to casual flings with anyone who seemed interested, and it mostly worked. Mostly. And then the kaiju came along, and then so did... "You make it a little bit better," he confesses.

Hermann lays back down next to him. "I do?" he says.

Newt thinks he sees something like that hot, hungry feeling he felt in his stomach flash behind Hermann's eyes. He nods.

Hermann suddenly kisses Newt, pulling him down on top of him, and then tugs the collar of Newt's stolen sweatshirt down below his collarbone. He drags Newt's hand up to press against his throat. Newt feels the erratic beat of Hermann's pulse beneath his fingertips, his heart pounding against his ribcage (pressed up against Newt's silent one), and he almost moans. "Have you ever...?" Hermann murmurs, gazing up at Newt through his dark eyelashes.

"N—never," Newt stammers. "I told you."

"Do you want to?" Hermann says. Newt tries not to gape. "Just a bit at a time, whenever you need. You wouldn't have to steal those silly blood bags anymore. And—" He hesitates. "I admit I am curious. About the sensation."

"Um," Newt says. "I—"

He feels something sharp poking his lower lip. Fangs. His fangs. Oh, shit, he's never had that happen before. He forces himself off of Hermann before he does something stupid.

"Maybe, um, maybe later?" he squeaks, while Hermann just smiles at him.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag

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queencryo · 2 years ago

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two days ago, red and i woke up in laramie wyoming, with a battle plan. that is to say, paralyzing uncertainty and anxiety. i checked out of our hotel, and asked some advice. locals said that going south on US289 would probably be safe, so we did just that. it was... laughably fine, lmao. i was still terrified, but i spent most of the time after we got out of town (and saw that it was legitimately just fine lmfao) planning. winter storm was coming in later that evening, that would close off pretty mluch every mountin opass north of the panhandle. i spent a lot of time on reds phone checking utah DOT websites, google maps, planning out routes. it felt like a flurry of activity, all routed thru a cell phone that wasnt even mine.

Come colorado, i took over a bit west of denver. not realizing that ahead of us in our route was a huge mountain pass at like 12000 feet elevation. it waas kind of terrifying. thank fucking god it was entirely dry with only small patches of ice.

a little after that, we agreed to ride through utah, then soithwest along to new vegas as was the original plan two weeks ago. only problem was that the mountain pass in monticello was likely to be blocked by the storm. so we drove as fast as fucking possble to moab, along the way speeding by numerous beautiful mountains n shit. red took over a bit before moab, and i resumed freantically monitoring road conditions. we also stopped at like three gas stations in moab, getting a coffee in each one and asking if they thought the monticello pass would stay clear. the consensus was 'idk yeah probably'.

we get to monticello. its snowing. off the road, theres a good foot or so of buildup. we followed a garbage truck for a while, but pulled in at a gas station when it did. to assess. the clerk said eh just follow a plow and youll be fine. i go to the bathroom, where the fuckl is red.... why is there an eighteenwheeler where our car was. oh, she and the car are stuck in the snow in the next parking lot over. apparently she had to move the car to get out of the way of the truckers who were now moving to the fistfighting stages of arguing about fifty feet away. fighting stances n shit, yelling. I went inside to get help, since i didnt know what i was doing. got help from a family who was at subway (mostly the dad, josh). he didnt know stuff, but he gave me the confidence and additional pushing that i needed to plan and execute helping alice do a three point turn to get baclk to tjhe travelled portion of the road. thanks josh!

a lil after that, a sbowplow went by and we attempted to follow it! (engaging with some youths who pulled a scooter from the snow for some reason??? they offered to help us get unstuck but it didnt really be necessary as it turned out!)

and so began our trek down the mountain. it was... scary as FUCK, for me anyway. i remember playing country roads (in part as propitiation to the mountain) and then that one detektivbyran album i listen to. keep my anxiety in check. red did all the snow driving, cuz she learned to drive in new mexico so she knows some stuff abt snow. We couldnt see more than twenty feet ahead of us at basically any time, and she later told me that at multiple points we were actually sliding. waugh. eventually, tho, like 30 minutes or so (felt longer) the snow turned to rain. and the roads were blessedly clear.

shortly afterward, i took over. the plan was to drive as long aspossible due west, along smaller highways, possibly all the way to st. george. neither of us really had it in us thoc 'o we had to stop around 10, in kayenta. still, thats a solid 13 hours of travel, some of them extremely stressful. i dont think we did too bad at all.

yesterday, we went from kayenta to primm. i originally wanted to sleep in goodsprings, but upon cursory research, turns out its a ghost town witha population of 160, no hotels. didnt have it in us to camp last night, so we stayed in the buffalo bill resort and casino. the inspiration for the bison steve resort in nv!! this is honestly the nicest hotel room ive ever been in, and the price is 10 dollars more than our motel 6 in laramie. highly recommend if ur in primm for some reason.

#blog #journal

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falloutjay · 4 years ago

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Wait, you are my hero? - Kenny x Reader

This is my first ever published x Reader fanfiction ever and I tried my best.

Just as a disclaimer, its not fully proofread, so I am already sorry for that and English also isn’t my first language so sorry again. I hope you guys do enjoy it tho.

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Kenny McCormick/Mysterion x Reader

You walked around South Parks nightlife district, the so called "SoDoSoPa" with your good friend Bebe, when you heard a loud sound from a few streets away. People were running and screaming, some were on their phone calling the police. Curiously, you ran towards the noise, like some others.

"YN, stay here! That's too dangerous!" Bebe called, while she sprinted after you. Coming closer to where fires were already rising, you saw him.

"It's me! Professor Chaos! Scream like the little ants you are!" Professor Chaos was a super villain that had been terrorizing the town for quite a while now. He and General Disarray were feared individuals that only cared about creating chaos and nothing more. But he was not the reason you and others remained here, while most people would leave. People like you stayed for the Professors sworn enemies. The superheroes that protected this town. There weren't many, especially good ones, but one in particular made your head spin, when you heard his name.

"YN please. Let us leave. It's dangerous!" Bebe pleaded looking around the street. Professor Chaos had blown up a construction side and the fires where ravaging among the building. He stood on top of it laughing like a maniac with Disarray be his side.

"We can't leave. I want to see him."

"You're insane!" Bebe said again and looked around, obviously distressed.

"Come on, where are you." You whispered and your hand clutched onto your phone.

You hope to finally snap a picture of him personally instead of always cutting out the imagines in the newspaper or magazines.

People were still screaming when a roaring sound broke through.

Your eyes grew wide and you pressed record on your phone, holding it in the direction of the sound. A purple motorbike came around the corner and the person on it looked just as amazing as you imagined. His purple cape moved beautifully behind him, when he pulled off a sick drift and stopped the bike.

Mysterion, the most badass and beloved hero arrived. You worshipped this man.

In your opinion he was simply amazing. He was strong, courageous, and not afraid to die. You were so busy drooling over this hero, that you didn't noticed Bebe shaking your arm and screaming about the fire. Then a second hero arrived.

The somewhat hated "Coon".

He stood there, somewhat out of breath while screaming at Mysterion. "Ah, Mysterion, my arch enemy." Professor Chaos laughed evilly and pointed at him from the top of the building.

"I'm here too Chaos!" The Coon screamed. Professor Chaos didn't even give him a glace and just waved his hand, while he laughed.

"Today, I will put an end to your hero career Mysterion." "Oh yeah? I'd love to see that." The purple clothed hero retorted cockily and laughed. “Stop ignoring me for fucks sake!” The Coon screamed angrily, stomping his foot on the ground.

"We will see who will be laughing at the end. Disarray!" Professor Chaos screamed and suddenly you felt yourself being pulled.

You screamed before a hand was put over your mouth. You managed to turn your head a little bit and catch a glimpse of the right-hand man of Professor Chaos, General Disarray. "I have someone, Professor!" He called out to the gigantic seeming blonde and he laughed evilly once more.

"I have a hostage, Mysterion. Now your chances are significantly smaller than ever!" He laughed again and thunder struck behind him.

"Mysterion?" He called out, after he noticed that the hero was nowhere to be seen. You felt yourself getting pushed around a lot and heard some fighting noises before strong hands grabbed you. You let out a quick scream, before you saw into deep blue eyes. You noticed immediately that Mysterion had saved you. You sadly had not seen much of the fight, like you wished you had. He must have looked amazing.

"Run. Now. Get out of here." He said in his extremely deep voice and you needed a second before you could process everything that had just happened, but you managed to nod hesitantly before you took off running. Running for your dear life. You kept a tight grip on your phone in your pocket and when you finally reached the street in which you lived, you took a short second to catch your breath. "What the..." You mumbled somewhat scared and giddy.

Hastily you took out your phone and looked through your gallery. Your heart started beating faster when you took a good look at the beautiful snapshot you took of Mysterion while he arrived on his motorcycle.

"That's so gonna be in my locker at work." You mumbled, smiling like an idiot and you probably were one. You barely managed to escape the sticky situation, but you felt like it was somewhat worth it.

For you it was worth it.

Your little obsession with Mysterion started back when you were in High School and he saved a little girl that was almost run over by a car. Back then he was not all that professional like he was today. He apparently received some funding by the government which allowed him to have that cool motorcycle and a little headquarters. No one knew who he was or where he stashed all of his belongings. But he was a hero. To the town and for you personally.

A little squeal escaped your lips, before you went to shower and then straight to bed. Mysterion was the only thing on your mind during all of this.

When your phone rang early in the morning, you were already up and going about your day. You had the picture you endangered yourself for yesterday already printed out and in your work bag.

You worked for a little company belonging to Eric Cartman. He founded it a few years back and it changed its focus ever so often.

Eric paid you well and that's what kept you in the job. When it was time to leave you simply got into your car and started driving to the outskirts of the town where Eric had his little company. You parked on your employee parking space and saw one of your close friends and also colleagues walk up.

Stan Marsh.

He was honestly better than this job, but he simply wanted to escape his father for some time, because he hated the weed farm he owned, and Eric promised him some good money.

"Morning Stan!" You called out and waved towards the raven haired. He waved back and quickly jogged up to you.

"Hey, YN. Did you hear about the whole thing yesterday with Professor Chaos?" He asked and you showed your phone.

"Already read all the articles aaaand..." You quickly pulled up the snapshot you managed to sneak yesterday. Stans eyes grew wide.

"Woah! You were there?" "Yeah! And the girl that almost got kidnapped by Disarray? That was me." You smiled and Stan shook his head. "weren't you with Bebe yesterday?"

"Yeah." You began, as the two of you sat down at your desks. "She's somewhat pissed about me standing around in danger but she's happy I wasn't hurt." Stan smiled warmly at you and you guys talked for some more until Cartman strolled into your shared office.

"Okay. Okay. So... I want a new article about Coon for my blog and I need you, Stan, to please sort out the client data and phone anyone who hasn't bought our new merch." Eric said and pointed at the "Who is the Coon?"-T-Shits and Hoodies that hang on the wall.

"But no one likes the Coon?" Stan questioned and Erics face grew a little red. "Everyone loves the Coon. Mysterion is just some asshat who plays dress up and tries to mingle with the professionalism of the Coon." Eric said through gritted teeth and Stan and you rolled your eyes.

"Sure thing." Stan mumbled and started typing. "YN, for today, please research me some new money-making ideas." You nodded and went searching.

Hours went by in which Stan and you would love to just bang your head against the tables. "Why is he so obsessed with the Coon? You could almost think he is the Coon." Stan mumbled. "Almost but... You never know. I mean, we probably will never know who Mysterion is." You answered and filled out the papers needed for a new money-making idea. Last time you guys tried NSFW-Patreon drawings; the problem was though that none of you could produce enough hentai to keep up with the demand. You guys did not notice that you had been working for a while until two beautiful blonde-haired boys poked their head in.

"You guys coming for lunch?" Butters asked. "Yeah, haven't noticed it's lunchtime yet." You said and peeked at your watch. "Hardworking as always." Butters smiled and just now you noticed he had a black eye.

"Butters, what happened there?" Stan asked and he looked scared for a second. "Just some guy who beat me up at the bar, nothing to worry about fellas." He smiled and honest to God, he was just a little sunshine all around. Unlike the blonde next to him.

Kenny was more of a player and very down to earth. He was super charismatic and confident despite his troubled upbringing.

You packed your bag and followed the guys.

Kenny didn't work for Cartman. He worked in a small car shop just a few buildings away. You didn't know why he refused to work with Cartman, but you could guess it was maybe due to Cartman being a little shit sometimes and him telling the blond always "You're pooooor Kiiinny."

Maybe Cartman’s terrible attitude really was the reason the blonde refused to work for him and only came here to have lunch with you all. "Where are we eating?"

You asked and watched Stan and Butters discuss on where to go. "How about Cafe Monet?" Stan proposed and you all agreed. Well, not really, Kenny didn't agree, he just tagged along. Once you all arrived and you were seated you guys searched through the Menu.

Kenny didn't and you knew he wasn't going to order since he was adamant about saving everything he had.

You know that since he once told you that he was saving everything he had for his sister.

You had met Karen a few times and she was a pure little angle, so you felt hard for the blond.

It melted your heart that he was trying so hard to better himself and help his siblings. Feeling generous you slid your Menu over to the blonde and smiled. "Pick something. It's on me." You whispered and he eyed you confused.

"I don't need some charity shit or something. I'm fine with eating my lunch later." He said, his blond bangs framing his face elegantly. "I know. Just see it as a friend treating a friend." You whispered back and he gifted you a half smile and went to look what he would like. Finally, you decided on a nice Fav/Dish and Kenny picked a bit of fish with potatoes and greens.

"Eating all healthy?" You questioned when the waiter out down the plate in front of him. "Yes. Staying fit is important." He said and winked confidently. You were so busy talking to the blond next to you, you did not notice the topic of your other two friends. "No no, YN was the girl." You turned your head to look at Stan pointing at you. "Huh, sorry, what was that?" You asked and Stan laughed.

"You were the girl who got almost caught up in professor Chaos evil plan weren't you?" Butters looked at you with wide eyes. He seemed trembling.

"Oh yeah, that was me. General Disarray was about to take me somewhere, but I was saved."

"Why were you there anyway?" Kenny asked with a full mouth. "Snapping pics of her crush." You eyed Stan angrily.

"He's not my crush."

"Tell that to your locker." You rolled your eyes.

"I managed to snap some good pics of Mysterion. I mean.... look!"

You digged out your phone from your pockets and showed the pictures around. "You should be a photographer or something I mean, damn. His ass Looks amazing in this one." Kenny said and inspected the pictures intensely.

"Don't encourage her to endanger herself anymore. And besides that, I don't think Mysterion would want to bang your boney ass." Stan commented snarky.

"Still more ass than you, flat cake." The blonde retorted and you and Butters simply watched the small verbal fight between them, before the two of you talked about some fashion things you knew about.

After lunch it was all back to work. It was getting tiresome around the last hour and it felt like a horrible drag. But eventually, you were finally done. You walked outside, together with Stan and you stood there.

"You need a ride home?" You asked him and he shook his head.

"Nah, I'm eating out with my family today. Just a small way to walk." You nodded and the two of you bid your goodbyes.

You got into your car and let out a deep breath. Work was tiring today, and you felt like just relaxing at home. It would be nice to maybe fill your bathtub with some loving hot water, some candles would also be nice. And cake. Yes. A cake would be needed.

So, you decided to make a small stop at the bakery before you would go home. You left your parking space and began driving through the night as you noticed a special someone sitting at a bench at the bus stop. You pulled the car up to the bench and rolled down you window.

"Kenny, what are you doing here?"

The blonde looked up from his phone and seemed surprised that you stood or rather parked there.

"Oh, I'm just waiting for the bus, the usual." He said and looked around. "But I feel like it's not coming."

He shrugged and you leaned over to open your car door.

"Hop in, I'll bring you home." You said and he reluctantly got it.

"Stop being nice, I feel like I am taking advantage." He mumbled and closed the door.

"What happened to your truck?" You asked, wondering what must have happened that Kenny had to take the bus.

"Some stupid racoons infested it and bit through some cables. I can swap them, but I had to order them online and it takes a while until they arrive." He crossed his arms, thinking about how much he wanted to strangle those stupid racoons.

"Honestly, I'm starting to see a pattern on why Coon is a raccoon."

Kenny laughed wholeheartedly with you. "That's the best thing I heard about him." Kenny bit his lip and wondered if it was okay for him to ask what he had on his mind for a while.

"Now that you already picked me up and all that..." You stole a quick glance at him before your eyes went straight back to the road. You nodded to signal him to continue.

"Would you mind hanging out for the evening?" He asked, charming as ever.

You thought about it for a moment.

"Sure, why not. I'll still get me some cake though." You said and pointed at the approaching bakery.

"Why?" He questioned curiously as you parked swiftly in front of the store.

"I feel like taking a nice long bath later and maybe I'll relax with some cake."

"You don't need cake to relax when you can have me."

Kenny's smile was incredibly devious and playfully. Normally girls would probably freak out or something about this comment, but between you and Kenny it had become somewhat normal.

"No thanks. The cake won't disappoint me after thirty seconds." You said and got out.

Kenny wanted to protest but you simply smiled devilishly and went straight into the store. Kenny used this time he was given to think of some witty comebacks.

He was not gonna let you have the last word about this. When you came back to the car, and got in, you were told: "You don't need to hide that you just wanna masturbate and think about Mysterion while touching yourself.

Kenny sat there with a smug expression and you rolled your eyes. You placed the package in the back and then gave him a light punch onto the arm.

"That one was good, I'll admit that. But you know, I'd rather think about Mysterion than be touched by you." You said and laughed.

Kenny needed to laugh too, mainly because the whole topic was simply in his favor, even when you were not aware of that.

"Ah, I love our banter." Kenny said and got comfortable in the passenger seat while he watched you drive.

"So do I. Oh, by the way, I got you and Karen some cake too. You'll treat me another time."

"Treat you with my dick? Or would you like my tongue?"

"If your name isn't Mysterion, no chance."

It was more banter to you than actually real. You were not that horny for Mysterion.

Everyone just loved to make this shitty joke at your expense ever so often, but you honestly didn't mind.

"Ah come on. And if I get a costume like his and change my voice a little?"

"Still no chance. Sorry Ken."

That still was a stupid lie. You sure were attracted to Kenny, I mean, who wouldn't. He was a tall, dirty blonde, blue-eyed hard-working man, with a soft spot for his family and great humor. You weren't surprised when you learned how many girls had little crushes on him. He was good looking and even when he wasn't the wealthiest, he was a kindhearted soul.

When you finally reach your apartment complex the two of you got out and Kenny followed you patiently to the fourth floor. Inside your apartment he went straight for the couch and relaxed. You let him be but reminded him of the no shoes rule. He begrudgingly took of his heavy and run-down boots and put them aside. He also, to your surprise, took of his orange trademark parka and tossed it into a corner.

"You'll pick it up later." You remarked from the kitchen when you saw him do that.

"Yeah, Yeah, I will."

You knew full when that he just said that so you wouldn't start a discussion with him. You knew that but still let it slide. For now, at least. You prepared a little sandwich for yourself before you plopped down onto the couch next to the blond.

"So, what are we doing?" You asked with your mouth full and he shrugged.

"How about you take that bath you were talking about and I watch you do so."

Did this shit eating grin ever leave his face?

"Nah, I'm good." You said and smiled back.

"Ah come on." He whined but laughed immediately after.

"Let's just watch some TV." You proposed and snagged the remote to put something on.

You guys were just lazily watching some random show while also being on your phones. All that was on your mind was that bath though. You loved Kenny to death but right now you were just craving some hot warm water all around you.

"Would you mind if I take that bath I was talking about? I really feel like I need that."

You said and the blonde smiled without taking his eyes off the phone. "I'd need you naked too."

You threw one of the couch pillows at him and pretended to laugh.

"Ha ha ha. You're sooo funny, it almost hurts me." You said, got up and walked into your bathroom to start the water.

In the next minutes you were setting up the candles and got your cake ready. When the water was almost ready, Kenny leaned in the doorway and watched you ignite the last candles.

"Jeez, you're going all out. Looks nice though." He said and gave you a low whistle.

"You wanna have me join you sweetheart?" He said and walked over to your kneeling figure. Kenny also got down to one knee and basically massaged your shoulders. You let out a deep sigh and rolled your eyes.

"Hey, Ken, listen, I really appreciate you and love our jokes and shit, but I don't think we should bang. It would be like... I don't know, super awkward if we had something and then just keep being friends and all that. And You're a great friend and I don't want to lose you, you know."

Kenny's smile faded and he frowned a little. "YN, I fucked so many girls and guys and I'm friendly with most of them and even their old or new partners. I'm sure it won't change a thing." He said charmingly and turned your head towards his.

You stared deeply into his eyes and you inspected the beautiful bright blue spots that highlighted it and the dark blue edges, while your heads came closer. You had never seen Kenny’s eyes up close.

And suddenly it struck you.

It felt like an ice cube slide down your spine and you trembled. You pulled your head back and basically fell onto your ass. Kenny eyed you confused and offered you a hand to get back up.

"No, I'm fine... I-I'll just take the bath if you don't mind." You laughed nervously and still confused Kenny nodded and held up his hands in defense.

"I get it, I get it. You won't resist me forever." He smiled and walked out. You were left there, breathing away the strange feeling of panic.

You quickly undressed yourself and went into the hot water. It calmed your racing thoughts down for a little bit and you managed to order them.

The blue, the highlights, the dark edges that formed a beautiful circle. The few freckles underneath the eyes. Why did Mysterion and Kenny have identical eyes? What, How, why, just... Argh!

You began stuffing yourself with cake and tried your best to make any sense of the situation. Was Kenny Mysterion, or did they just have similar eyes?

Or... You thought about it long and hard and eventually.... It kind of just... Clicked?

It made sense.

Kenny was living alone, he was young, in shape, the piecing blue eyes, the need to protect others, some jokes he made... It... It just fitted together like a puzzle.

You quickly finished up your bath and went outside after blowing out the candles.

"What a view." Kenny joked from the couch and you just went straight into your bedroom.

This perverted guy you were close friends with was really the pure and kindhearted Mysterion? In your head it barely made any sense but you kind of just felt like your theory was correct.

You got dressed quickly and just sat on your bed, trying to picture the blond in the purple costume without the hood.

It just fit.

The height, the figure.

Everything.

After a few minutes you heard a knock on your door and carefully Kenny came in.

"Good, you're dressed. Even if I don't mind you in less clothes."

You didn't respond or gave him any attention.

"YN, is everything, all right? You're suddenly so wei- You're Mysterion, aren't you?" You interrupted him and looked straight at him.

He seemed surprised, taken back, unsure.

Everything, Kenny was normally not.

"Me? Mysterion? Sweetheart, was the water too hot?" He laughed when he collected himself again.

"No. Not at all. When Mysterion saved me, he starred straight into my eyes. You guys have the same eyes, freckles, skin tone." You said and waved your hands around.

"I guess no point in denying then. I should have been more careful." He said and sat down next to you.

"Please keep it to yourself. I'm sure if someone knows who I am, they will target the people I'm trying to protect." He said and his hand went through his hair.

"Does anyone else know?" You questioned and he shook his head.

"Nope. Not even Karen. It is dangerous if someone knows who I am. So, I always kept it a secret. I guess my only mistake was trying to fuck you after you were that close to Mysterion but..." He grinned evilly, "You said no one could fuck you except Mysterion. So... Here I am." His hand moved from his head to his knees, presenting himself.

"I wish I was as confident as you." You mumbled.

"I can't believe the hero I always looked up to is... You?" You said, raising and eyebrow and inspecting the blonde once more.

"Disappointed?" He questioned and tilted his head.

"I don't know."

"You wanna know what's funny to me?"

You looked at him, waiting for his reply, but as soon as you saw that shit eating grin on his face, you knew it'd be bad.

"That ass you admired and took pictures of was mine. The guy in your locker is me. It is so funny. You obsessed over me, without knowing it was me. That's so fucking funny, I wish I could tell someone."

He laughed his ass off and fell onto your bed. He just kept saying how funny it is and you felt more and more like a fool.

"Can you shut up, this is embarrassing and confusing you asshat." He finally got back up and held his hands up in a defensive manner.

"Woah, woah, no need to be so hostile." He spoke. You simply rolled your eyes.

"I love that I now have more material to make fun of you. But also, I feel flattered that you love me, without having seen this beautiful face."

"Someday you'll choke on that humongous ego of yours."

"I'd rather choke you."

You had a small starring contest and you lost when you just busted out laughing.

"So, now that you know my secret, I'm sure you will not say anything about it..." He asked and took your hand.

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Good, otherwise I'd have to kill you." He said in his Mysterion voice and the grip on your hand got stronger. You felt scared for a second, before he smiled again.

"Just a joke." You just nodded.

"Ahh, come on Sweetheart..." You looked at him again and he had this smug expression once more.

"Don't you love this." And he switched the voice again.

Still somewhat embarrassed and also confused because the guy you had a small crush on turned out to be a friend of yours, your cheeks heat up and immediately Kenny picked up on it.

"I can tell you like it." He whispered into your ear.

"Dude, this feels like some weird roleplay or something." You giggled.

"We can make it that. I still have some of my older costumes."

You laughed once more and bit your lip, while Kenny pushed you slowly onto your bed and got on top of you.

"Oh, shut up Mysteribitch."

"Oh, I'll make you my bitch."

He laughed, before he slowly pressed his lips onto yours. His lips felt somewhat rough and at the same time smooth, kind of just like you imagined what it'd be like.

And also, just like you imagined, his tongue found its way into your mouth rather quickly.

You continued making out for quite a while and honestly, to you it felt like heaven. But eventually you carefully pressed your hands against his chest after they had wandered down from his soft hair and you pressed him away.

"What... Don't tell me you're thinking about this staying friends shit again." He said somewhat aggravated. You shook your head.

"No, I just wanted to ask if you could bring one of those old costumes next weekend. Maybe we can pick up on that roleplay idea." You whispered against his lips and he smiled into the now following kiss.

"Good. I was just gonna say that I don't wanna be friends. I kinda wanna be more. I like you a lot YN." He whispered in-between the kisses.

"I'm fine with that." You whispered back and the two of you just smiled into the many kisses you now shared. And pretty much, just like you expected, it didn't take long for Kenny’s hands to roam around your body and finally wandered underneath your shirt.

You did not just make out that night.

It led to much more and you loved every second of it. When your alarm woke you up in the morning, it felt strange to feel these strong arms around you. You carefully woke Kenny up and told him it was time to get up.

"I don't wanna. It's so nice here. The view it to die for." He said as you got up.

"Go shower. I'll drop you off at work."

"Fine." He mumbled and walked past you, naked.

"The pure confidence of this man."

You got dressed and ready for work, as did Kenny begrudgingly. While you also made him a bit of lunch, he stole some kisses ever so often. You honestly were surprised at this, you imagined this part differently, but of course you did not complain. When you were finally in your car and on your way to work, he proposed an idea.

"Okay, so of you wanna do that roleplay shit, I'll Go the extra mile. Just for you, I'll surprise you with the whole thing. Just leave your window open next weekend and you might be visited by the hero with the great ass." He winked.

You bit your lip, feeling aroused just thinking about it.

"I will do so. Hope Mysterions dick is as good as my boyfriends." You teased and Kenny laughed rather hard.

"Feels strange hearing you say that, but I can get used to it."

"Good." You answered and you two smiled like idiots, thinking all about your crazy plans, while you pulled into your parking space.

"You walk over to your work?" You questioned as you saw Stan approaching from the corner of your eye.

"Yeah. See you at lunch, Babe." He pressed a final kiss onto your lips and took off to his own work.

Stan whistled as you caught up to him.

"I thought you were crushing on Mysterion?" Stan questioned with a smile on his thin lips.

"I kinda got over it. Kenny's a pretty good catch anyway, I think he's the closest to Mysterion that there is." You smiled and Stan laughed at your comment.

"If You say so."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it." You smiled, knowing this secret between you and Kenny will spice thing up in your relationship.

#kenny mccormick #south park #kenny x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #oc #mysterion

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mrsseverussnape · 4 years ago

Text

Love Is You - chapter 12

A week has passed since the Christmas and Scarlett hasn't seen or talk to Severus again. The things Severus said about their breakup still didn't settle with Scarlett. She couldn't help herself but thought if they haven't broken up, perhaps things would be way different in her life right now. Scarlett was so sure that Severus would marry her and they would have their own little family with their cats but everything has gone downhill all of a sudden. The next 2 years after the breakup were the time when Sirius came back to Scarlett’s life once again. They recovered their friendship from the very start and after those 2 years their relationship turned into a romantic one. She didn't have any regrets about her relationship and later about her marriage with Sirius though actually they were pretty wonderful, but Severus always had a special place in her heart that she could not replace it with anyone.

<<<

Scarlett and the twins were having breakfast when a Jack Russel terrier patronus rushed in. Before they could react to it, the patronus delivered a message to Scarlett.

"At 11 o'clock, in our cabin. Be there, important."

Scarlett checked the wall clock immediately, it was 10:30. That message made her nervous because whenever they had to talk in the cabin, it was never a good sign. And also the patronus message added more stress to the situation, it meant there is a critic situation.

"Mum what was that? Whose patronus was it?"

"The minister's. But i don't know what's going on Leo."

"Why do you have a cabin together?"

"It is for the important stuff that we can't talk anywhere because unwanted people can hear."

"But you resigned, why do you still have to deal with ministry stuff?"

"Leo i know as much as you know right now. T last time i saw Dorian was weeks ago."

The twins didn't question her any further because she was visibly nervous about the situation. They continued to eat their breakfast in silence but Scarlett went upstairs to get dressed for the meeting since she didn’t have much time left. She wore a black dress and a black cloak to hide herself from possible stalkers. The minister's message made her thought that maybe he has been stalked since he didn't send a normal letter. She went downstairs to let her kids know that she was leaving. "I gotta go now. I don't know when i will be back, don't worry okay?"

"I can come with you to protect you?"

"No Leo, it is just a meeting. I will be fine. Bye!"

Then she apparated to a hidden spot of the Clemont Forest; Scarlett looked around and made sure there was no one here. Later she faced to west and took 300 steps then 86 steps to the north and now she was standing in front of the grand oak tree. She whispered "revelio" and the small cabin appeared next to the tree. She looked around one more time before casting complex unlocking charms on the door. When Scarlett walked in the cabin, the minister was already waiting for her.

"Hello Scarlett, thank you for coming." Dorian said with a forced smile, under of his eyes were dark and he was looking paler than ever.

"Hi Dorian. Is everything okay?"

He shook his head madly. "No, no Scarlett. I made a mistake and now everything will go downhill..." he started to pace around the small room. "He is dangerous, he should be stopped!" The minister was acting like crazy and that worried Scarlett even more.

"Please sit down and relax then tell me what's going on. I can't help you if i don't understand."

He sighed and sat on the closest chair while Scarlett was sitting in front of him. "Amos, Amos Langley. He is bad, Scarlett. First he wanted to abolish your law about the death eaters, i sent him to you in hope that maybe you could change his mind but apparently you couldn't. Many former death eaters were released now, even he hired 2 of them as his assistants. And i guess he is reading my letters and following me."

Scarlett wasn't so surprised about Amos Langley but she wasn't expecting that much. "I didn't like him from the very start to be honest, when he came to meet me he acted very off and made me uncomfortable. But that's just too much. Why didn't you stop him about the law? You could gather a meeting with the councilmen, i don't think they would accept it so he wouldn’t be able to abolish it."

"I did Scarlett and they accepted it. Amos took everyone under his control, he is like using imperio on them. Maybe he really does..."

"I understand... I don't want to sound rude but where did you find him?”

"A friend of mine from French Ministry of Magic told me about him. He was from there but wanted to come to London and my friend said he is really good and i will enjoy working with him. Since you resigned so suddenly, i hired him as the deputy minister. I didn't have any other options..."

Scarlett raised her eyebrow. "Ah... Now i found why he looked familiar to me. The last time i was in Paris, he talked to me after the seminar. I was quite annoyed by him since he didn’t stop talking for some time."

Dorian’s eyes got wider with fear. "Are you saying he targeted us way before he came here?"

“Why would he do that tho?"

"A new death eater campaign?" The minister suggested.

"Hopefully not but the things you said doesn't sound good at all. What do you want me to do?"

"If you can talk to Dumbledore, it will be great. I don't want to do it myself because i think someone follows me like i said before. I don't feel safe even in my home Scarlett, i don't trust anyone but you."

<<<

Scarlett visited Dumbledore immediately after the meeting and told Dumbledore about the minister's worries and the situations in the ministry. Dumbledore was concerned but yet he wasn't sure if he should do something without having a certain evidence. But Scarlett was persistent about it so he decided to gather a meeting with the Order of the Phoenix members at Grimmauld place the very next evening since it's Sunday and everyone would be free.

It was 9:30 o'clock and finally everyone has arrived at Grimmauld place. Nobody knew what's going on and they were all worried about the meeting which they've been called so suddenly without any information. Dumbledore clapped his hands to stop chattering then he cleared his throat before started to talk. "Welcome my friends. I know every one of you are wondering why we are here tonight. I will let Scarlett to explain it to you because she knows about it better than me."

The heads turned to Scarlett questioningly. She licked her lips to wet them before starting to speak. "First of all thank you for coming here tonight. I will directly dive into the topic, i don't wanna keep you waiting anymore. I had a secret meeting with the Minister yesterday because he has some concerns. He doesn't trust the new deputy minister even he suspects that the deputy has some kind of connections with Death Eaters. He abolished the law i have made about imprisoning the Death Eaters rest of their lives. And he didn't stop with that even he has hired some of them in the ministry. Also Dorian believes that Amos, the deputy minister, is stalking him or hired someone to do it for him. And i met Amos, he visited me couple of weeks ago, i don't trust him as well. Something is off with him. So briefly the Minister wants help before it is too late." Scarlett took a look at everyone’s faces, most of them had a shocked expression.

"So if i understood right, you gathered us here just because you and the Minister have bad feelings about the Amos guy." James Potter stated in an annoying tone.

Scarlett sighed, James and her were never in good terms and he would constantly start an argument with her. "I want to do something before Dorian gets hurt. Does it sound good to you that Amos abolished the law about Death Eaters and hired them as assistants?"

"You are just annoyed because he took your place and abolished the law you made."

"He is in my place because i did quit. I don't work for the ministry anymore so i have literally zero gain from this, James."

James rolled his eyes at her. "I think this is nonsense, there is no evidence that he is up to something."

"I saw the new deputy too and i must agree with Scarlett, he is weird. I think we can do some research about him at least." Said Minerva McGonagall and Dumbledore agreed with her.

"He took control over the Auror Department a week ago. I am the head of the department but i must tell him about the situation beforehand and he decides if we take an action or not. He stopped us about two attacks on muggleborns this week, saying they are not as important." Sirius looked at Scarlett. "So i am in whatever you want to do about him."

They all discussed about it for a while. Some of them were agreeing with Scarlett but some wasn't sure like James because there were no real actions yet, beside abolishing the law. In the end they decided on getting some more information about Amos Langley.

"I will visit him tomorrow in his office and see how he is acting." Scarlett announced end of the discussion.

"You will draw his attention on yourself Scar, it is not necessary. We can do it secretly."

"You don't need to worry about me, Sirius. He visited me so i will pay him a visit back, it is not suspicious at all."

"Okay then you do that Scarlett and let us know in our next meeting which will be on next Sunday at the same hour. And the others if you can get some information, it will be appreciated. The meeting ends here tonight, thanks to everyone." Said Dumbledore smiling.

Everybody started to get up to leave as soon as possible the meeting ended, there was nothing certain about the situation, but it made them all nervous. They were hoping to have peaceful years in their 50s but apparently it wasn’t happening. Scarlett said goodnight to everybody avoiding both Sirius and Severus, then put her coat and hat on before heading towards the front door. Sirius was watching her and went after her when she was about to leave. They haven’t seen each other since the night Arabelle came and it was clear Scarlett was still upset with him.

"Won't you apparate? It is very cold."

"No. I will walk, my house is not far from here." She answered without looking at him.

"I will be your company then." Sirius reached out for his coat.

"I don't want you to be my company Sirius and don't make me say it twice. I cannot deal with you tonight." Scarlett talked coldly and shut the door on his face before he could do anything.

Sirius sighed and looked at the crowd in hope nobody saw what just happened but then he noticed that Severus was watching him from afar. He frowned at Severus and walked over him rather furiously. "If you do the thing on your mind, i will kill you and won't regret. Do not go after her, don’t even get close to her!"

Severus smirked at his over-angry statement and replied calmly. "The thing that is on my mind was killing you actually, i wonder how you will kill me when you are already dead."

Sirius gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Stay away from Scar, i will say that only once. I don’t mind hurting you, if you don’t comply. You know that very well, don’t you Snivellus?"

"Once is enough for me to understand things since i am not a dunderhead like you, Black. But I don’t take commends from you, you are nothing without your gang. Pathetic…" Then he apparated which caused Sirius to draw his wand into the now empty space.

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searchingforproofsthatimwrong · 4 years ago

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THE JAMMIEDODGER VIDEO ABOUT JK ROWLING (as recommended by a very polite anon)

so I go point by point after the cut but in short: they should read more feminist theory, they are lying, they are not as coherent as they think they are but they make some points, notably about the rapid onset gender disphoria that’ll need to check in more depth later on.Most of their sources were unfortunatly either on points I already knew or already agreed with. Also that woman ( the “cis” one not Jammy), should really stop thinking being born a woman is somehow a privilege.

So the video starts by saying three things I agree with :

1) Biological sex is definitely real

2) Women’s right and girls’ right need to be protected

3) JK Rowling is entitled to like support and write whatever she wants

So far so good. Except it then goes on to say that TRA agree with that. Now maybe most do but at least some don’t. Don’t lie to me, Jammie Dodger.

They then go on to misrepresent what our problem with “cis” is. Are they going to spend that entire video about trans people at destination of the non educated on that subject without ONCE defining what a trans person is? They are aren’t they ?

“TRANSPEOPLE AGREE THAT BIOLOGICAL SEX EXISTS!!”

see earlier but given the number of people who are saying “sex is a social construct” and “sex is a spectrum” and “a neovagina is just like a vagina”, you may at least put a “most” in your statement here. Anyway this is not the problem we have, we wouldn’t even discuss this if it weren’t for the brain dead morons who argue with us about it.

“my biological sex -the one I was assigned at birth- was female”

is Jammie here telling me he knows biology exists but his sex WAS female ? It still IS female. You’re a female. Moreover you cannot say I know biology exists and I was assigned a sex. The entire “assigned sex” is a refutal of biology by implying doctors choose a sex for you. This is stupid.

Strawman. They are saying radfems have no argument against “gender identity is a real thing”. The lies. Gender identity is not a real thing it’s just gender stereotypes and gender is a tool of oppression for women, it’s sexist garbage. I also notice they don’t define gender identity, this is starting to be a pattern, this video is aimed to normies but the only thing they defined so far is terf.

They did 5 fucking minutes on “transpeople know that biological sex exists” I am already exhausted.

Oh my bad they defined “gender identity” as “the gender you know you are”. THANKS A BUNCH THIS IS SO HELPFUL . Define gender please I beg of you.

“They know they are a man but their bodies don’t match”

okay so you agree that man and woman are words that depends on your body right? Since it can “match”, they are not gender then ? Nevermind he then says that man is their gender identity. This is not making sense.

Ooooooh the floating head analogy never heard that one before, this is a stupid one because gendies also argue that their gender is innate (unless Jammie here specifically says he doesn’t think that I’ll act as if he agrees with that statement) so the good question would be if you were born as a floating head and never even had a body would you still be a woman? And my answer here as well as plenty of people I suspect is “men and women don’t make sense if we’re born as floating heads what are you on about?”

“transwomen needs women’s right too”

I know you think that is self evident but I’ll ask what exactly are the women’s right transwomen need. Abortion? Affordable periods product ? The right to have places free of male? oh wait. They are male so they can never have that can they ?

“so feminism also needs to believe in gender identity”

because if we don’t our feminism is only for females and we exclude males. Notice how they didn’t continue their logic by saying how THIS feminism excludes transmen and nonbinary? Because it does, but guess who actually need the women’s right of abortion for exemple?

“transmen don’t need women’s rights”

I FUCKING CANNOT YOU STILL NEED IT WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT. OK I need them to define women’s right asap

“well JK Rowling said she supports trans rights”

funny how you can understand how those words are not a proof that she in fact does but you still started your video by “we support women’s rights !!!”

“adding [to Harry Potter] content that was LGBT+ friendly”

she added things that were gay friendly. I don’t remember her adding trans characters.

“transphobic” = saying men can’t become women. Whoah. The hatred.

“the lack of belief [in gender identity] is what she wants protected”

yes and ? Atheism, the lack of belief in a god, is protected. Gender identity existence only proof is some people saying it does exists, it is not a scientific reality in any way shape or form.

“His biological sex was previously female”

BUT WE KNOW WHAT BIOLOGICAL SEX IS WE SWEAR; Damn they spend 7 minutes on “transpeople know biological sex exists” and then keep acting like they fucking don’t.

After that they point blank say that gender identity is more important than sex, having someone who passes as an exemple. What about transpeople who don’t pass? How much you bet this will never be discussed in this video.

Anyway they follow that with that :

Which is true but defining what a woman is does affect women actually (I know weird right) so it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion here.

“When a large group of transpeople are telling you something is wrong please listen to them”

please afford women the same courtesy. We are a large group of women saying males are not the fucking authority on what womanhood is but we are told to shut up. Listen.

“we cannot take the behavior of the minority [online abuse] and group it onto the majority”

I agree with that statement but the majority still didn’t condemn the abuse. Honestly the people in this video did -just before saying HOWEVER but hey – but it is pretty rare to see TRA actually confronting the people who abused JK Rowling online, they cheered them on more than anything.

It is very telling how they spend more time in this video saying people collecting screenshots of the abuse JK Rowling suffered were “not cool” than the TRA giving them a bad name by actually abusing JK Rowling. They even say Jammy was also insulted online so TERF and TRA are as bad as each other right ?? Being called delusional or idiot is not the same as death threats sorry Jammy. (I doubt the “freak” one was from a terf tbh but even then, this is not even comparable) I mean didn’t you get at least one person saying they were going to kill you ? Because I did, and I have ,like, 200 followers. I find very weird that the woman here said “I received sexual assaults threats and this is as a cis woman!” as if women weren’t the primary target of sexual assaults threats. Yeah it’s the misogyny. What’s new. You really should stop thinking you are somehow priviledged even when you are being sexually threatened ffs. What gender ideology does to a mf.

“neither of these sides are innocent”

oh come on, you cannot possibly means that the men who gave you sexual threats were terfs, this is ridiculous, you are just trying to excuse and diminish what people did to JK as per fucking usual.

“persistent low level harassment”

it hasn’t stayed low level tho. Stop trying to say you and JK are receiving the same abuse it’s embarrassing.

JK Rowling’s essay having real life effects on policies for exemple has an element of thruth ,even tho we disagree on wether or not this can be a good thing but your are deluding yourself if you think people assaulting transpeople are the sort of people whose views are in any way influenced by feminists. This is laughable. Also please stop with the guilt tripping, we are not responsible of the mental health of transpeople, we are not their therapists, sorry.

I love how they implied that the guy who forced GNC kids to behave as their assigned gender would somehow give a letter of thanks to a feminist. This is implying “terfs” want the same things as this maniac which is just a straight up lie, terfs absolutely adore GNC people and are mostly GNC themselves.

“What rights of women are actually being eroded by the inclusion of transwomen ?” I am glad you asked !! Well apart from the freedom of speech since “terfs” are losing their jobs and being deplatformed because of this, we have the inherent dangers of replacing sex by gender in what the law protects : https://www.aclu.org/blog/speakeasy/firing-mom-because-shes-breastfeeding-sex-discrimination this is a link to a story about a woman who was said being fired for breastfeeding was not sex discrimination because men can lactate. Do you see the problem ? Moreover there is quotas for women in politics etc….Women fought for their quotas and now males can have them, who do you think an employer would prefer someone who probably will be pregnant at one point or someone who never will ? and let’s not forget the right for women to have women only places :Women in prison are raped by the trans identified males in it .

“I cannot think of a single right that is removed from me”

good for you maybe you should have actually researched radfems talking point before doing this video ? Your ignorance is not a good argument.

“transwomen can use the women changing room because they are women”

you keep saying that but apart from “they feel like women” you didn’t explain how they are women. This is the basis of this entire video and you never explained. Also allowing any person who say they are women into the women’s changing room does not only allow transwomen does it ? It also allows lying freaks.

“You can protect cis women’s rights and transrights simulteanously” HOWWWWWWWWWWW, please tell me how to keep female only spaces (women’s right) while saying TWAW (transrights apparently according to them).

“transwomen can be the victims and cis women can do the voyeurism”

true but did you forget we actually live in the real world and in that one males are much more likely to be sexually harassing people than women ? It is a brazen form of lying to tell women that since theoretically other women can also be creeps they don’t have to worry about males. Get a grip. Live in the real world for a change.

“It doesn’t reference transwomen but men pretending to be women”

apart from “they feel it” you still haven’t told us what the difference is. You are aware nothing from an outside perspective distinguishes the two right ??

“there is no evidence of men pretending to be trans to enter female only spaces” and how would you know they are pretending ? This is the same problem again and again, if you define transwomen as men who feel like women then there is absolutely no way of verifying someone really is trans. And that’s a lie anyway since we do actually have proof of that happening?? There was that video making the room on radblr a while ago of a clear male pissing in the women’s bathroom saying (lying) that he was trans.

Yeah actually radical feminists would accept transmen in their bathrooms, but it’s not an easy question with an easy answer to know how to check they really are transmen. Although notice how they are again only talking about transpeople that passes ? I would feel safer with Jammy in my toilets than Hannah Mouncey for exemple :

That is so obvioulsy a man in a dress.

“ If a transman with a beard and penis and balls can go into a women’s toilet and that is deemed okay because of his biological sex what is to stop a cis man from doing the same”

I am sorry but are you saying a transwoman cannot have a beard and penis and balls ?????????? This is incredibly transphobic of you, you said that gender identity Is just feeling like a gender, how exactly does that mean transwomen cannot have beard ? If you want to know, radfem are arguing for a third toilet for transpeople, that’s our solution. What is yours ?

Ok the next part is racist I’ll skip that thanks

On accusation of TERFery intimidating people and organizations “we haven’t seen these” again, your ignorance is not an argument, I am posting these on Tumblr where cryptoterfs arer numerous. Why do you think that is ?

Are they seriously saying Nike and addidas “accepted” transpeople because they “realized it was the right thing to do” ?????? Those companies employs slaves IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??

“trying to make transpeople look crazy”

the clownfish things were said online by real transpeople. We don’t need to invent thing to make transpeople look crazy, if there is large enough group some people belonging in that group will say stupid shit .

“We support these rights”

when speaking about women victims of abuse. This is a lie, the Vancouver rape shelter relief is often targeted by transactivists, recently a gofundme for it was cancelled because of transactivists, they are quite litteraly stealing money from raped women. This is not a small, inconsequential part of transactivism.

“The trans-inclusionist views expand the meaning of women to include transwomen”

It doesn’t expend shit actually since it excludes transmen and non-binary. If anything it reduces it.

They go on to say that transwomen deserves protection as women because of their murder rate. It doesn’t explain how being seen as women will help them here and anyway it’s a bold lie considering their murder rate is actually quite low. They also fail to consider how depriving transmen and nonbinaries of those same women’s right might be a problem.

Again they make the distinction between transwomen and men pretending to be transwomen without a way to identify which is which. This is starting to get repetitive and tedious. The problem is not that all transwomen are predators is that there is no way to see a difference until the predators acts, until a woman gets hurt, so accepting transwomen is accepting predators and saying transwomen feelings are more important that the women being hurt because of this. I disagree. The tiny tiny percentage of transpeople doing bad things is actually the same percentage as men doing bad things. If your argument could be used to say women only spaces shouldn’t exist at all because not all men are dangerous maybe you should reconsider your argument because I will not reconsider women’s right to have female only spaces.

“If you push transwomen out of female only spaces you push transmen in”

Yes. I don’t even see where the problem is here. Now why don’t we analyse the fact that if you push transwomen into female only spaces you push transmen out of them ? I don’t think transmen belongs in men’s prisons, do you ?

“Transpeople don’t dispute biology and don’t impact how female only diseases are treated”

eat shit. They do impact this, every woman trying to say “female biology” get shit thrown at her faster than you can blink, stop lying to me Jammy. Do you think I would get called a bleeder, a fetus carrier, a motherfucking birthing body if transactivism wasn’t trying to erase sex ? Don’t you think the sentence “men can have periods” is not eroding biology ? Fuck off

Back to JK, Jammy is saying her disabling comment on her blog was not conductive to a conversation, I have to salute the straight face he says it with because do you really think a nice educated conversation would have taken place on JK Rowling’s essay ? They flooded her children’s book tag with porn for fuck sake.

“Thre is no explosion in young women who wishes to transition” sources ? Because it does seem to be true :https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12817

“the detransitionners rate is actually really low” hard to know but most people who transitioned did it not so long ago since transgender is a recent trend, we will have to wait and see to have a more robust number. But maybe they are right on that one, this is not going to be the one argument that changes my views unfortunately.

“Does that mean we should stop people from getting plastic surgery then ?”

lol you don’t know the radfem stance on plastic surgery do you ?

“There is more significant transphobia than homophobia”

sources ? Because transition is used as converstion therapy in Iran so it is at least untrue in one country.

“If transmen transition to escape womanhood why is there transwomen ?”

You really didn’t research this did you ? the radfem answer is that transwomen are either gay men who have gender disphoria OR AGP (autogynephiles) read this if you want to learn more about it: https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-room

“why would people who have male privileges choose to give that up”

you are assuming they lose their male privileges but I will need sources on that because most transwomen do not pass and are treated more as special men than as women.

“We have already shown you that transphobia is far more rife and damaging than homophobia”

did I miss that part ? When ? You just said that ? Without backing it up ?

“anti trans narratives constantly contradict itself”

No we do not, we are feminist so we OF COURSE we analyse men and women differently, this is an issue of gender which radical feminism posit as an hierarchy, trying to explain transwomen and transmen with the same arguments is doomed to fail because they were not equal in their relation to gender to begin with. Do you think black people trying to pass as white do it for the same reasons white people try to have more black features ? Of course not.

“What am I a lesbian or a homophobe ?”

You are both, you are a lesbian in denial with a deep case of internalized misogyny and homophobia. You know yo can be both sexist and a woman right ? Well it’s the same here.

I heard “Simone de Beauvoir” and I knew they were going to be really fucking stupid with that “One is not born a woman but rather becomes a woman” quote and THERE IT IS! Please read the book. She is not saying male can become women if they try hard enough, she is saying basically the same thing JK Rowling’s quote said which is that “womanhood” as it is forced on women is alien and not natural and the point is that we should not accept it, it’s a feminist quote on femininity and I am so sick of men using it to say that they are women.

Transactivists acting as if sex recognition patterns don’t exists is exhausting so I won’t comment on “nobody checks if you have XX chromosomes before passing you over for a promotion” other than to say : passing over for promotions happens a lot when women are pregnant and after giving birth stop acting as if misogyny is unrelated to our reproduction capacities it is fucking insulting.

“transwomen will support [fights against tampon tax and FGM] too”

FGM was a bad choice here considering transactivists tried to stop a bill against FGM . I will need sources here actually since I never seen a transwoman fighting for women’s right in my life.

Ok I let a lot passes here because I’m tired but we are 48:40 in the video and fuck you “intersectional feminism” is not about males. It was for black women. It is not reductionist to say women are people with a vagina, this is just a definition, and one that applies to 50% of the population at that, there is litteraly no definition of woman that includes more people than that.

Imagine thinking “women are people with vagina” is reductionist but not calling women “vulva owners”. Please , I am begging for coherence.

“transwomen who experience greater abuse than cisgender women will ever experience” .

This is revolting. I don’t have any other words. I am glad this is the end of the video because I would have stopped immediately if this was at the start. What abuse transwomen can experience than ciswomen cannot ? Because I would have thought forced pregnancy was horrific but maybe this doesn’t compare to being misgendered?

“most people are comfortable with transwomen going into women’s bathrooms” https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/39147/bsa34_moral_issues_final.pdf

It says 13% of women are at least uncomfortable with sharing bathroom with transwomen, why are we ignoring their wishes? Because 0.1% of the population wants to ? Whatever, the really interesting thing in this study is that for this question they defined “transwomen” as someone who has gone through all the steps to become a woman aka someone with surgery. I find extremely misleading that this is used for bathroom bills which defines transwomen as male identifying as women. Do you think the numbers would be the same if they specified the transwoman in question still has a penis ? Which is the case for most transwomen btw?

#anon #jammiedodgers #transgender #op is a terf #this took wayyy to long don't read this

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years ago

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Icy Is The Avatar Of High School; The Essay

I would like to begin this essay with a song. While reading this essay keep in mind that Icy has the exact same energy as this song which (imo) embodies prep & jock with a touch of nerd. No goth tho, press f in the chat.

Wow I put way too much into this. I hope y’all love it.

Okay so lets get into this! We will begin with the obvious one, goth:

*Gestures to all of the snow*

Edit: that was supposed to say show but snow works too.

Next we will talk about Jock.

So think of your typical jock. A stereotypical jock has a few qualities; reckless bravery and determination, large ego, usually at least kind of an asshole, doesn’t know when to quit, craves them gainz, and makes impulse decisions.

Icy is definitely a very brazen person. It takes balls (and a large ego) to get banned from your campus and then very boldly strut back onto said campus in the middle of dinner while the whole school is assembled. She looked at Lord Darkar, shadow phoenix of the underworld and was straight up like, “yeah, whatever dude.” Dude is such a jock word.

So onto determination! Okay look, we have like 7 whole seasons of her trying to take over the world. She was arrested, what? 5 times? She literally doesn’t know when to stop. Give up??? Who’s that???

I feel like the large ego thing also speaks for itself she is constantly talking about how she deserves to be Darkar & Valtor’s main witch. She is well aware that her plans are usually fantastic. She just exudes an I’m better than you energy. It’s in her posture, her gestures, her tone of voice. Icy is absolutely certain that she is the shit and in the 4kids version one of her demands to the professors was to stand before the student body and say, “Icy rules, Icy’s the greatest.” *Spoiler alert* she is. I promise that she is not holding me hostage.

Which brings me to the next point, getting dem gainz! Your average jock is at the gym, drinking protine shakes, and building muscle! While Icy is not in a gym trying to get 6 pack abs, she 100% chases them magical gainz! The dragon fire is just a really hot protine shake.

In the 4kids version, upon overrunning Cloud Tower, she addressed the student body by welcoming them to her pep assembly. Ya know who else likes pep assemblies? Football jocks.

Also that whole scene in episode nine (Spelled) where she rallies up the witches and they all chase Musa. That’s like the goth equivalent of getting the entire football team to chase after the nerd (or a member of the rivaling team).

And let’s not forget the ‘nerd run’ from season two where she rode this dinosaur thing and chased Timmy, the stereotypical nerd type. (It’s funny because she doesn’t know that she’s a nerd too).

Okay so now that we dug deep into jock, it is time to discuss Prep!

I tend to use prep & always wears pink, blonde, mean girl interchangeably. But wiki says; Characteristics of preps in the past include a particular subcultural speech, vocabulary, dress, mannerisms and etiquette, reflective of an upper-class upbringing. Both definitions hold up in my book.

So we’ll start with wiki’s. Icy (depending on whether or not we’re going with the season 8 retcon) is from an upper-class upbringing. Tbh she’s like Stella but a witch. Icy is Stella’s goth phase and that’s why Stella fears Icy because she knows that that’s what she could be. I feel like Icy also has the most preppy dress style of her sisters. Also pretty sure preps are known for being over-achieving perfectionists. Icy was actually pretty good with her academics.

As for the Regina Gorge type prep; Icy is totally your classic mean girl bully, but make it witchy. I really think that this speaks for itself. It sings for itself too in 4kids OST. One of the lyrics in the Mean Girls song is that they will steal your boyfriend and trash your makeup. If that doesn’t scream prep, Idk what does.

She reads them magazines. I don’t remember which one but I do remember her mentioning that there was a question posed in said magazine about ‘what would you do if you took over the world’ and apparently she wrote, ‘you’ll find out soon enough, loser’ and sent it in.

Loser, pixies, nerds, dweebs. Icy has a whole list of mean and petty insults to put in her burn book. Like bye girl.

Literally all of the Miss Magix contest. That is peak mean girl shit. The Trix literally went to a beauty pageant for the sole sake of making everyone look stupid and to trash on everyone’s fashion and makeup. On top of all of that she did that just because Lucy agreed to do their homework for ???? amount of time. Let’s be real, it was a life sentence.

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! Nerd!

Literally every time she calls anyone a nerd or a loser I wheeze because, girl, check yourself! Prior to getting kicked out (for being a dumb jock), it is heavily implied that Icy, Darcy, and Stormy were at the top of their classes. Like these three were Griffin’s best students. And I am inclined to believe that Icy was thee top student. This woman was an overachiever whether she wants to admit it or not.

Icy is the plan person. She’s the one who keeps the Trix on task. Though Darcy exudes ‘group mom’ energy, Icy is usually the one to snap at them to stay focused. She’s the organized one and the one who seems to do most of the scheming. That takes some deep thinking and brain power. She knows how to summon monitors, banish trolls into oblivion, astral project into virtual reality using voodoo dolls, summon nightmare monsters, and summon an army of rot. Like how does she know all of this? Studying. I almost said that I have no proof except in the Winx comics (this one) she is seen venturing to the library to research dark magic and spells. 90% she has done some extensive research and reading into all of these things because I highly doubt that Cloud Tower teaches things like summoning the army of decay. That was all down time research because this nerd enjoys learning about dark magic. Ya know who else enjoys reading and learning? Nerds. I know, I’m a nerd who loves reading and learning. Just because she likes learning about ~cool~ thinks like dark armies, doesn’t mean it’s not a nerdy quest to know everything about the subject she knows.

Speaking of which (lol get it, witch), Icy also knows about history. She was the one who told Bloom all about what happened to Sparks and all about the coven. Why? Because that knowledge is floating around in her brain and she chose to retain it. I have a feeling her knowledge of history goes beyond the coven and Sparks too because she also knew that the Ring Of Solaria had fragments of the dragon fire. She knows too much about this shit.

I think that her nerdiest moment though, had to be when she solved that riddle at Red Fountain to get the codex. Like you have to have brain power to solve a riddle with the added pressure of being surrounded by your foes on enemy territory. In general her nerdiness just bled through in that season because she was snatching those codexes left and right.

Also lets get into the fact that she (especially in the comics) has a tendency to humiliate herself, whoops. She managed to get her own (and Darcy & Stormy’s) memories erased, she got them trapped in an avalanche (and then dated a fellow nerd for two seconds and pretended like she didn’t hate it), and she is constantly pulling ‘we’ll be back’ speeches every time she gets defeated. Like seriously this is the evil equivalent of ‘lol I meant to do that’ or ‘haha, that didn’t happen, you didn’t see anything.’ And then she will make her next attempt as if she had never gotten defeated at all. Because losing is for losers and Icy ‘totally isn’t’ a loser.

And honestly what’s more nerdy then prattling off your entire evil plan? Like this is her trying to flex her intelligence.

Let’s not forget how she had her nerdy fangirl moment. She simped for Darko for like two or three whole comics. Like full on simping over here. If she could have bought a T-shirt with Darko’s face on it, she would have. Bonus, he was her childhood crush.

And finally, I am also very inclined to believe that Icy is the fake it until you make is sort. With her it’s all about presentation. The only thing that saves her from being an obvious nerd is confidence. I touched on this with the whole ‘you didn’t see anything’ bit. But legit, pretty much everything she does would be kinda nerdy if she didn’t make it look good.

Please feel free to add if you think that you have more examples of Icy being a nerd.

#Winx #Winx Club #Winx Icy #Shitpost #Winx Trix #The Trix #Winx Darcy #Winx Stormy

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in-tua-deep · 4 years ago

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tua rewatch with the roommate

Episode five

Oh fuck the “I found you. all your bodies.” scene

“We died?” “Horribly.” throwback to the ben convo o o f

“If perfectly arranged under rubble and otherwise unharmed counts as ‘horribly”’ - roommate

I like that Diego says he’s going to kill Hazel and Cha-Cha like it’s a challenge?? lol five doesn’t care if they live or die he only cares if u do you big dumbass

“Well I know none of the main characters die bc there’s a season 2... and i’m pretty sure they’re all in s2... like all of the family?”

I mean luther is kind of valid for being frustrated that five didn’t share about the apocalypse but also like,,, the first person five told about it (Vanya) suggested he might be insane. so. i can understand some reluctance on his part on top of the whole “the last time my siblings fought this the Whole World Died Including Them i would like them as far away from apocalypse stuff as possible”

okay okay so five says “they turned me into the perfect instrument” so do y’all think that implies experimentation like in the comics or ????

all i can think about during the kennedy scene though is my high school history teacher. he went over the assassination in intimate detail and i’m pretty sure he was writing a book about it and everything. mr. hansen if you’re out there -

i like feral beard five more than mustache five tbh if i’m picking

“Someone ELSE shot the president? Was he supposed to shoot kennedy or was he supposed to kill the person who shot kennedy?” - Roommate

love that five tells luther to grow up over murder,,, though to be valid pretty sure they did actually murder people as kids SO. grow down?

fuck i love mary,, will you love me like you loved me in the january rain??? just shoot me in the heart

GOD rob is such a good actor

“wait a second... how is he wearing pants?” oh roommate you have a big storm coming

i have some serious questions about the commission and their methods of communication. where do?? the tubes come from? where do they go after?

Allison: i have a bad feeling [about leonard]

where are these instincts for everything else tho??? her marriage?

“Vanya. she really is trying to look out for you. i really would trust her. you could invite her to come along so she can see he’s perfectly fine??” - Roommate, whose instincts regarding not trusting leonard-harold are spot on

apparently my roommate knows people who put salt in their coffee. i have. so many questions.

“That’s suspicious?? that’s suspicious right?? did he do that? is he a secret serial killer? is he a FUCKING secret serial killer?” roommate when they talk about helen cho going missing

“What do you mean stop showing up it’s been like. a day” - I mean. the roommate has a point.

Klaus’s depression bath is a mood :(

did klaus put eye shadow on before his bath or did he get his hands on eye shadow in vietnam?? the questions that will never be answered

Five is so enthusiastic about having someone who understands... he doesn’t even notice absolutely Not Being In The Mood,, klaus is grieving and five is just like !!! where did you go!!!! like it was a vacation

klaus: yeah i’m ten months older now. when i’m done being depressed i will lord that over diego for the rest of our natural lives.

does five write in all caps all the time?? why?

roommate: I wonder what the upper size limit on the knives her can use. like is it machete length? forearm length? what are the limits on his powers. if he sharpened a very sharp mechanical pencil could he use it? if he sharpened a piece of the chandelier? at what point does something become a knife?

me: could he hurl mia (my cat)? mia and her knife feet?

allison also writes in all caps to write leonard’s address

we stan agnes and hazel in this household

“I never said we didn’t !! i just thought she was just a random extra in the first episode and every time we cut away i think that’s the last we’ve seen of her” - roommate because i keep saying that this is an agnes stan household

“OH THERE’S THE PATCHWORK COAT i was afraid it didn’t come back” - okay though good question he definitely didn’t have the coat on the bus. what is it with klaus and his magically appearing coat????

oh :( oh klaus :( every time klaus is sad i am also sad :(

honestly a family conversation IS the threat in this family

god though this random vet in this bar is actually an asshole though like. klaus doesn’t owe him shit. klaus served. he’s clearly having a moment with the photo. that could have been a family member or something who died i don’t even know

agnes: i’m a twitcher :)

“like a twitch streamer?” -Roommate

PLEASE give me twitch streamer!Agnes au

look i just enjoy hazel and agnes

roommate: honey you’re too young for her

me: NO DON’T BE MEAN TO THEM,,, agnes deserves a boytoy

“does diego drive a manual?” my roommate once again focusing on things that i do not

five: i have to find the people whose deaths could save the timeline

my roommate: is it agnes?? is he going to kill agnes????

i’m still laughing about that fact that luther is holding dolores.... over the fire escape... she couldn’t drop that far lads

luther’s dumb sometimes but he does have some nice heart to hearts with his brother,,,, honestly he and five get along pretty well in the early episodes. kindred spirits. body dysmorphia and isolation squad.

my roommate has to keep remembering social media doesn’t exist in this universe

i am still confused as to why

that won’t stop me from giving everyone iphones and youtube accounts in my aus though

diego can curve ANYTHING he throws, usually knives, according to cha-cha’s research. but that doesn’t explain the spoilers i have seen about s2 sO

Klaus: You also told me that licking a nine volt battery would give me pubes

HOW DID I FORGET THAT LINE

oh diego got a bullet graze forgot about that as well?? does he ever get like. medical attention for that? diego?????

it really has been like. maybe two days since helen cho died. is no one??? concerned????? they just immediately jump into replacing her??????????????????? hellO?

“very clear camera angles to show that this actress did not actually play the violin for this role” - i mean that’s fair but ellen is trying rip

me: who’s your favorite character so far? roommate: that’s a tricky question. klaus is very entertaining to watch. allison is the most reasonable and i’m very interested to know, well, she seems like the best combination of reasonable and has the least selfish intentions. diego and luther i feel like are both good in a bland way in that they’re both doing good in the best way they can which usually involves punching people. five is fun. five is very fun. five is as fun to watch as klaus, they’re both very fun actors to watch on screen. they’re more expressive than diego and luther tend to be. me: so which is your favorite????? roommate: first instinct says allison, though she probably has the least dynamic or interesting arc so far

are hazel and cha-cha the best because their victims never see them coming?? like. they aren’t really THAT competent.

“I do LOVE the aesthetic of an ice cream truck playing ride of the valkyries” - my roommate is valid

“LOVE the hypersaturated background in this scene. it’s more fun that having it be desaturated.”

five looks so baby in this scene with the handler :(

still unsure where five got that handgun but i’m vibing

hate when she touches his face !! awful!!!

the handler’s little “all of them??” like yeAH ALL OF THEM even though they irritate the living FUCK out of each other. siblings man

ben gets shotgun for the getaway !!! go ben!

“I’m starting to think... given how space and reality seemed to be warping during her playing... that her medication... isn’t for anxiety...” - oh, oh roommate

ah i blocked out the leonard vanya make out as well

“DIDN’T YOU MEET HIM TWO DAYS AGO?” - yeah i feel u roommate

yup there’s helen’s body

“CSI call crime scene investigation - that’s going to start to smell real soon”

pogo: and you understand that the children can never know

me: actually pogo fuck you

and that’s episode 5 everyone thank you and goodnight

episode six

i do love a good flashback to klaus

klaus: sees a shirtless soldier and instantly falls in love

they don’T EVEN QUESTION HIM just “KATZ GET THIS MAN A PAIR OF PANTS” and they go with it?? he just APPEARED and they don’t even care

klaus was really just vibing in the 60s huh

wait this is like 1962 or 63 right

when does s2 take place?? also the 60s right???

didn’t kennedy die in 1963 i feel like what i know about s2 contradicts that date but i could have sworn they said a round trip to 1963??????

luther is SUCH A MOOD in the family briefing.

“aww he’s a bad liar” - roommate

“I realize that [the umbrella] was necessary for the title drop but where the fuck did that come from”

@ the handler please stop touching five,,, but also five has such. non reactions to her touching him. which worries me. like she grabs his shoulder walking alongside him and he doesn’t even look at her

why are there gas masks in the briefcase room...

can you IMAGINE if your boss toted a child into the room and introduced him as the Legendary Time Travelling Assassin that the whole office had a betting pool over who would die that one time and is Definitely approaching 60 not 13... and then called him LEADERSHIP MATERIAL. implying that this child will probably get a promotion before you do?? can you IMAGINE?

“again... two days ago...” roommate about leonard and vanya

vanya really chose literally just the worst time to come back to the academy huh

okay but vanya going off?? valid, but also,, i mean. it IS their dads fault that they don’t have any relationship with vanya?

luther: it’s about the moon roommate: critical role moon theory

hey like. how did the family get together in the first timeline holy fuck. it’s hard enough to get them together when they Literally Know The World Is Going To End

so remember diego getting grazed with a bullet yeah well he has a sling on now which makes sense!! and yet. when five got grazed by a bullet he SLAPS A BANDAID ON IT. someone please address this.

five is such an asshole coworker i love it

i wonder if dot is a mother. or just a nice coworker. she keeps trying to talk to him and invite him to lunch aww

i wonder if it’s purposeful on the handler’s part to call him “mr. five” instead of “mr. hargreeves” to like... further isolate him from his family? by removing his last name they’re sort of removing his ties to his siblings considering it’s not like they’re related by blood

forgot how much i hate the bathroom scene !! wow !! hate it so much!!! there’s so many violations of social etiquette in such a short scene! it’s so deeply uncomfortable!

luther: stop it pogo! you know everything our dad did

i am remembering once again how much i hate pogo all over again!! reginald literally locked klaus in a mausoleum!! he abused the kids! pogo didn’t even speak up about sending luther to the MOON,,, oh luther :(

he just learned his dad exiled him for no reason he has lots of rights his entire world view was just shattered wow i am like infinitely more sympathetic to luther on the second watch

“I knew allison and luther was a thing. you told me allison and luther was a weird thing. still not a fan.” - my very valid roommate

they could have made the fort so much more sibling-y instead of romantic and it would have been so much better honestly

oh dave :(

“I wonder who her primary care physician is and if she can find out what that medication was...” roommate i wish i knew

“I’m trying to decide if he knew ahead to time to try and get at her specifically or like... i don’t know when he took the figurine I was like ‘doesn’t he own an antique shop is he there to steal antiques from the family home’.” roommate on leonard

forgot the handler gifted five a suit. also don’t like that. don’t like her talk about his body and everything either.

“is it too much to ask to give him two outfits? one he can wear now and one with the new body?” - roommate

honestly with hazel’s talk on budget cuts i’m not surprised he only gets one suit

STOP TOUCHING HIS FACE,,,, HANDLER. STOP TOUCHING HIS FACE

five and his sweet tooth. don’t take the candy five. come on. what did your father TEACH YOU. honestly reggie probably was like “let them get kidnapped it will probably teach them a life lesson”

“there were like... villages that needed rebuilding after disasters. he could have been sending these packages to legit lunar research facilities. legit facilities would have adored to have that information.”

okay but people KNEW he was on the moon. cha-cha mentioned it. it was in vanya’s book. why were scientists not knocking down reginald’s door demanding the research??? if i was a moon scientist i would have the mansion staked out trying to demand info jesus

“love his eye fluttering in the way of ‘oh shit i got something in my eye i can’t break character scene is still going scene is stILL GOING’“ - hilarious observations from the allison luther fort scene 2.0: grown up version that gets erased

did they just leave the fort up all those years. did no one USE the green house??? did grace lovingly work around it all that time?

oh :( dave :(

grace is capable of lying and pogo is a shadowy motherfucker

“okay now that they’re actually putting it into the plot i understand why you don’t think he’s trustworthy but you really got on my back about that”

in my defense i just hate him tbh i did not like him when he first showed up and i never particularly liked him tbh

allison: i think you’re the only person who knows who i am and likes me anyway

me, remembering the theory that allison rumored luther to love her: HMMMMMM

okay but i think the luther and allison dance scene is fucking HILARIOUS. absolutely ridiculous. i mean i hate that it’s incest but also the fucking LIGHTS DESCENDING. the RANDOM WARDROBE CHANGE.

roommate likes the green underskirt thing under allison’s random dance dress

are they just doing this in public???

ugh. the kiss. ugh. erased that from my memory as well

“they clearly want romance in this show but they painted themselves into a corner with the siblings thing” - roommate

five and his fucking STAPLERS isn’t this the second time he’s knocked someone out with a stapler?? the bank robber and now gloria??

five please your siblings were finally doing some decent work on their own issues :/

five is the kind of dramatic as fuck entrances

“love how he just grabs [allison’s] coffee. kid needs a coffee after all that.” - roommate

five actually does a good job of rallying the siblings though?? they just broke the fuck up in the og timeline

“something tells me that harold jenkins might be leonard”

oh roommate

episode seven

uh oh harold was born

i feel vaguely bad for him

“me the night before a convention” - roommate on harold’s tape and cosplay and everything

okay but how did reginald even KNOW harold jenkins had no powers?? did he? keep tabs on all the forty some kids not just the seven he kept?

but also why the fuck are these people laughing at An Actual Child fuck all of them honestly

“did HE kill hargreeves?? I mean. he’s got motive.” - roommate

harold really said “i think my superpower is actually this hammer motherfucker”

how did he get twelve years?? was he tried as an adult?? was he in juvie? how old WAS he

twelve years ago... they’re 29 soooo seventeen? he did NOT look seventeen? he was NOT seventeen in that flashback what???

roommate theorizes that harold ran off after the murder and committed petty crimes until caught and tried for murder when he was seventeen so was maybe 13 in the flashback

okay so i looked up the timeline and he got out in 2014 or something so he was like 13 in the flashback which makes SO much more sense honestly but also what the FUCK was he doing for five years

“he’s actually laying out all the facts as he knows them and I appreciate that.” -roommate about five briefing the team

five?? the only member of the family with communication skills? it’s? somehow more likely than you think?

“allison’s pants that she’s wearing now are the most perfectly tailored things i’ve ever seen. not even a wrinkle when she’s standing still. do you know how hard that is to do?” again my roommate noticing the things i absolutely do not

five. five. you have a GUT WOUND and also jumped a BUNCH OF TIMES. you are not blinking into the police station and getting the file. you need some SLEEP. and REST. and WOUND CARE FIVE FOR FUCK’S SAKE. you still have a GUNSHOT GRAZE on your upper arm and a SLICE on your wrist from DIGGING OUT A TRACKER. FIVE.

diego wants to be batman SO BAD.

five crossing his arms and Not Uncrossing Them because he’s literally HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER.

wow luther is really handling this so much worse in this timeline rip

luther is losing validity points for CHOKING KLAUS i knew this happened but i didn’t remember how awful it was !!! bad and terrible! and luther is very drunk and very sad and very angry. oh. he’s saying he never left the house and never had friends for nothing :(

klaus had the realization that reggie was an asshole YEARS ago and he’s just kind of like “aww. luther :(”

klaus is trying so hard

“Klaus has had the most heart to hearts with the most siblings honestly.” - roommate

allison at the beginning making her laugh in the office with the EYES, five on the steps of meritech, diego after the vet bar, luther on the couch...

wow cha cha really thought hazel was talking about how meaningful his partnership was with her when he was talking about agNES

five limping up the lawn and staggering up the stairs and clinging to the rails baBY SIT DOWN. YOU ARE BLEEDING.

“inspiring leadership” “one of the greats” what a sibling moment honestly.

five really said “i think i will pass the fuck out now”

five really said “hey i am literally willing to die for this mission because this mission is the safety and lives of my entire family and i love you guys :(”

except he doesn’t because five is decent at information sharing but getting feelings out of him feels like pulling teeth at times smh

is leonard trying to vicariously live his “normal child born on the umbrella academy day discovers they have had powers the WHOLE TIME” dream through vanya??

we yell about how leonard and vanya have known each other for like a week but i mean same for hazel and agnes!! he’s literally asking her to run away with him and she says yes !!!!! agnes is here for the romantic adventure with this man she’s really living her first hot girl summer and living for it

“she’s having her own little rom com! she thinks she’s living in a rom com not a dark sci fi!” - roommate accurate as usual

she just called ben the emotional support ghost and i mean... she ain’t wrong

honestly klaus should have just left luther to his rave, he didn’t get to party in his teens or during his college years or anything

i do appreciate the viking yell of “B R O T H E R” that luther greets klaus with though because that’s exactly how i greet my own siblings whenever i see them

oh klaus :(

he’s having war flashbacks, cravings, is in withdrawal, AND experiencing sensory overload while reliving one of the more traumatizing moment of his life

oh klaus :(

five in a bed for the second time of the season which is nice for him. if only the first time wasn’t because he passed out drunk and the second time wasn’t because of a whole shrapnel wound. i am now that captain of the Let Five Sleep brigade holy SHIT like at least they imply that the others sleep five is just feral and ready to go at all times

are the police allowed to just. remove someone’s arm sling? is that permitted? his arm could be fucked up? i mean. it is? he was shot?

“I saw everything my brothers and sister could do ruin their lives” VANYA some REALIZATION up in here,,,, admitting that the umbrella academy wasn’t exactly a desirable place to be is actually some real growth for her and leonard just fucking shuts her down? fuck that man

VANYA SEE THE RED FLAGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE COME ON

oh klaus :( oh luther :( oh :(

“love his corset side pants, like benedict from violet evergarden” - on the topic of Klaus’s pants

“I made everyone else so I must have made you” says god except for the fact that the kids just... surprise popped up instead of coming about the natural way. maybe god DIDN’T made them????????

oh klaus :( prepare for disappointment :(

oh i didn’t notice the photos of the umbrella academy in the barbershop the first time i watched this

so klaus gives an age for the mausoleum... thirteen... do you think that was before or after five left? statistically it’s probably after bc it was only a couple of months after they turned thirteen that five vanished

Klaus’s “we were just kids” breaks my heart every time

if i was one of reggie’s kids i would have just not gone to the funeral. rip to the hargreeves kids but i’m different

he doesn’t even call klaus klaus in death, he still calls klaus number four. fuck that man.

“i was gonna say i’d have been very very surprised if they kept him dead” - roommate on klaus waking up

“Five bucks says he set these guys up to try and get something out of her” - the roommate being very perceptive

cha cha is VERY rude to my girl agnes

honestly why DIDN’T hazel just kill cha cha after her whole speech and threats about killing agnes slowly in front of him???? like he literally watched her try to kill him as well

why wasn’t diego arrested in the original day that wasn’t actually?? he was being considered already. he still left the house, albeit with grace instead of allison. why wasn’t he arrested then????????

roommate thinks it’s interesting how committed the show is to their old timey shit. she used a nicer words like anachronisms but the point is: w h y

are these episodes even longer than i remember?? holy SHIT

#tua rewatch #honestly these are half proof to my sister that i am watching tua #she keeps yelling at me about s1 #there can't be that many more episodes right #apparently there are ten episodes in s1 #that's a whole 'nother three hours #jeebus #and then ten more hours for s2 #so LONG

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ohwereusingourmadeupnames · 5 years ago

Note

Okay! It’s related to addiction, hope it doesn’t bother you: Tony Stark is out from rehab, trying to start his life from zero after losing almost everything bc of his addiction. He had been in rehab for quite a long time, so going back to society is being kinda difficult. He can feel the stigma people have of him and so Tony feels lonely, until he meets Peter, a healthy kind man. Tony is afraid of falling for him and f*ck everything up as he has done before.

Spend My Days Locked In A Haze

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M) Word Count: 4.5k Notes: So, this one has been sitting in the box for a little while because I wanted to approach it with educated respect. I did a lot of research. A lot. I hope this is what you were looking for, nonnie! Thanks for dropping the prompt my way <3 Warnings: Description of drug use (Tony struggles with a cocaine addiction), mentions of ADD, and therapy. Summary:

Tony’s brain doesn’t shut off and he struggles to manage it - so, he doesn’t. Instead, he develops a habit that is not the best for his body or his mind. A discovery during rehab helps a little, but the ultimate cure for restlessness is the adorable Peter Parker and food tours around the city.

do the thing - send in all the prompts.

It started out small, like most things that have the ability to magnify always do.

After getting back from the desert, Tony couldn’t get his brain to turn off. Not only did he have a foreign object in his chest, he endured months of living in a cave with very little to eat and the inevitable happenstance of death clinging to his back like a needy child. Aside from the suit plans he wanted to refine and make into a working suit that could function with his now upgrading arc reactor, Tony didn’t have much of anything else going on.

It all got a little worse when he figured out that Obadiah was the one behind his kidnapping and hoped-for death. It stung a little, to be one of the smartest people in the world and miss something that after looking back, should have been seen from a mile away. How could a man that thought he ruled the world ever give up the throne without a fight? It didn’t make any sense to forget that Tony was one of the best fighters out there – but, he’d forgive the man his mistake when he got to see him behind bars.

The need to finish the suit became pinnacle and with that, long nights and even longer gaps of time between sleeping and letting his body rest. His mind didn’t ever seem to get tired, however – it ran on a loop for hours on end. Whenever he thought he might get to a stopping point, the next thought came flying across the forefront of his mind. It was great for his work, but not so great for his body and mental health.

After the 20th reminder from Jarvis about being awake for 80 hours straight, Tony forced himself from the lab and into the confines of his bedroom. It made his heart race, just thinking about sleep – yet, the second his head hit the pillow, he was out. His body’s need and the inability to shut it off pulled him under. The racing of his mind, however, did not go down with him.

Less than 4 hours later, Tony jumped awake, his entire body covered in sweat. He woke up patting at his chest, uselessly making sure he wasn’t connected to a car battery that with just one misfire, could take his life. Before he could contemplate getting back to sleep, his mind moved on to the adjustments he needed to make to the suit – the idea of rest was now gone for at least another 80 hours.

It got to be a little much – after the final interaction with Obie, Tony lost a little bit of steam. It was one thing, to go and go for hours on end when there was something to go for. Yet, it was something completely different, to be both restless and completely overwhelmed with a brain that didn’t want to power down. Sleep didn’t come and when it did, it was broken and interrupted by nightmares that drove him back to the lab or the kitchen or anywhere else other than the big empty bed that wanted to suck him in and keep him in the dark.

He remembered a brief stint in college when he was younger and going through the exact same thing. Tony knew that Bishop wasn’t dealing drugs anymore, but there were many people throughout the city that were. It didn’t take but a few well-placed calls to secure an in-person delivery of the China White that could at least take away the need to sleep. When his brain wanted to run a million miles a minute, who was he to deny it?

The first few bumps lasted him for a long time – his tolerance for the stuff was nowhere near what it’d been in his younger years. He wasn’t sure how the arc reactor effected the processing of it, either. Every time he leaned over to do a line, he might be one step closer to blowing his heart up. In a way, the risk seemed like the most appealing part of the whole thing. Living on the edge at least gave him something to live for.

Between upgrades for the Iron Man suit and the transition from weapons manufacturer to clean and sustainable energy, Tony didn’t have time to slow down, especially when it came to sleep – that took up too many brain bytes and didn’t contribute to the madness he continued to pump out month after month. As the days passed, Tony found himself getting more entrenched in the need for the drug that kept him both wired and level – it felt good to go and go and go without having to stop. Stopping was for the weak.

Despite the cavalier attitude, Tony started to notice some physical symptoms of the upper being in his system all the time. Since introduction of the arc reactor, Tony didn’t feel much in terms of his heart or the cardiorespiratory process that went down between the heart and the lungs. The higher his doses, however, the more uncomfortable his pulse became – the throbbing in his veins seemingly thicker and thicker as the days went by.

Of course, when the shit hit the fan, Tony was making one of his rare public appearances. It meant a lot to him to change the company’s perspective, but not a lot to the people actually affiliated with Stark Industries. After the business with Obadiah, it seemed pertinent to keep himself under the radar – which was well in good because he wasn’t in any condition to be in front of people. Yet, Pepper talked him into the barest of glimpses at the next press conference.

That particular day, Tony attempted to sleep the night before and felt a little strung out from the experience. It was weird – to be so aversive to sleep. In an attempt to wash his mind from the dreams that plagued him, Tony snorted an extra line before leaving his penthouse and getting into the swing of being a businessman again. It seemed like, especially since coming back to reality, that persona didn’t fit him – rules and restrictions and propriety weren’t really his thing; he was about to make that incredibly apparent.

Though he didn’t have any talking expectations, Pepper wanted him up front in the limelight – which was nice for about two seconds. Then, the sweating started; the brightness of the lights brought every bit of moisture within him to the surface. And when that happened, his heart rate picked up – how it got any higher than it already was, Tony didn’t know. Reaching up to loosen his tie, Tony shuffled from one foot to the other over and over again; he hoped the restless movement would cure the general weightless feeling that did not feel glorious like the high usually did.

Hitting the ground was not expected and try as he might, he couldn’t push off from Happy to get away long enough to do it in the relative peace of an empty hallway, not in front of cameras and many, many people that were watching the live broadcast. He was still conscious when Happy ran over to him, his big hands grabbing Tony’s arms tightly. They made eye contact before he finally slipped away, the horrified look on his face just seconds before forever engrained in his mind.

----

The worst part of overdosing didn’t come from the progressive removal of Tony from the board, or the headlines that spoke of the scandal – no, the worst part came when Pepper dropped him off in front of an in-patient rehab clinic. The intense amount of the drug in his system had him seizing and coding out a couple of times on his way to the hospital, followed by several days off waking up with excruciating pain everywhere, chills, a fever, nausea – all of the fun things that came from detoxing from a chronically used drug.

When he’d been cognizant enough to actually have a conversation, Pepper told him about the board’s decision to remove him from his position – he shakily signed the papers that would make her the acting CEO. She told him that pending a stint in rehab, they’d reconsider – but they both knew that was total bull shit. Getting out of rehab meant coming back to a haunted penthouse and no company in sight. Despite that, Tony agreed; he was only 45 – dying was the last thing he wanted for himself.

It was grueling to begin with – Tony was still on the edge of his detox and felt more irate than ever before. His chest ached from whatever happened to his heart during the course of seizing and having severe palpitations. To top everything off, his mind was still running on overdrive and there wasn’t a bit of relief in sight – they wouldn’t even let him exercise yet, his heart wasn’t ready for it.

About a week into his stay, Tony started attending the group and individual therapy sessions. He didn’t like to talk to people when he felt normal, so small attempts to open up were made during his group time – it took him 3 weeks of sessions before he even felt comfortable enough to introduce himself; everyone knew Tony Stark – but nobody really “knew” him.

The individual sessions were a totally different bag, however – the small female therapist sat in a big chair behind her desk, the width of it dwarfing her even more than her stature already did. If he had any ground to stand on, he’d laugh at the irony of it. Tony didn’t, though – the rock bottom he was laying on at the moment felt worse than the desert, and he’d been there against his will.

She looked at him a lot – Dr. Martin’s eyes were hazel and a little on the beady side – every time her eyes moved, Tony could feel her scrutinizing him. They didn’t talk for 2 solid sessions; the quiet would have been much more appreciated if she didn’t keep running her eyes over him, but beggars really couldn’t be choosers.

It was clear during his 3rd session that he wasn’t going to get away with keeping his mouth shut. Her posture was different when he walked in and her usual file was nowhere to be found. Sitting down, Tony took in a deep breath to prepare himself – it felt like a sweet kind of torture, waiting for the questions to come his way.

“I’ve spent the past couple of weeks trying to connect your file to you and I can’t – so I thought coming right to the source would be a good place to start. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself? Your likes, interests, habits – “

Instead of balking at her, Tony settled back in the chair, his hands knitting behind his head – the position meant to give off ease. “Uh – what don’t you know from the papers? I like to build things with my hands and solve puzzles that other people can’t. I’m interested in not dying because of the habit that I have. I want my brain to shut off for a while, which is what led to the shitty habit to begin with.” Scratching his head, he shrugged, the words more than he’d said to anyone in years.

Dr. Martin tilted her head, her eyes a little brighter than just a moment before. The inquisitive part of her on the scent of something. “You want your brain to shut off. Can you elaborate on that?”

Looking at her, Tony quirked a brow – he’d never been asked to describe the chaos in his head before. It took him a minute to categorize his thoughts, the multitude of details that needed to be included sorting themselves out. “It’s like having a million files open at one time. I get to the end of one train of thought and immediately hop to another. Or I’ll be right in the middle of one and be on the opposite side of the room the very next second. There’s no focus. I fixate on my work and the things I like – everything else, it’s a restless toss-up.”

Tony recognized the light bulb going off in her head when it happened – there were more than enough eureka moments in his lifetime to know exactly what that looked like. Getting up, Dr. Martin went over to her stack of files and dug around until she found Tony’s. “It says that you have a long history with restlessness and an inability to sleep. There’s obviously some traumatic origin to some of the most recent feelings, but have you always experienced things like that?”

In the end, Tony went through a long line of tests to determine whether ADD contributed to all of the issues he experienced outside of the drugs. He met with Dr. Martin and told her his long history of times just like the most recent one – times of long stretches without sleep because a project consumed him, and then even longer times of disorientation because he couldn’t connect to anything. Tony didn’t know what a diagnosis would bring him, other than more stigma, but the prospect of an answer wasn’t the worst thing to be offered, either.

Upon being diagnosed, a certain sort of feeling washed over him. Not contentment, but something that might be like it. On top of the drug counseling and group sessions, Tony had a couple more therapist added to his repertoire. Instead of going through the 90-day program, Tony stuck around and did 180-days instead. Before he left, he wanted to make sure that he could put both feet on the ground and stand up on his own. There were too many ways to get access to the thing that could very easily be his downfall – having self-assurance felt absolutely necessary.

The nerves about the situation manifested in the fact that he’d have way too much time on his hands when he got back into his real life. Without SI, there weren’t a lot of things going on for him. Idle hands were never a good thing for him before – the necessity for a distraction allowed him to fixate and neglect any semblance of a routine. If he could just keep his shit together, maybe the bits of his life could be fit back together.

Happy picked him up with a soft smile on his face at the end of Tony’s stay. He brought the Audi and got out of the driver’s side when he saw Tony walking toward him. When he didn’t hop back in, Tony shot him a grateful smile and sunk into the custom seat he installed himself. The purr of the car during the drive was enough to drown out his anxiety and stop any sort of conversation from happening. One thing Tony always appreciated about Happy was the fact that he didn’t push. Tony needed to be around people that didn’t push.

Parking in the garage, Tony pulled the keys from the car and turned towards Happy – the only person who stuck with him through the 6 months he’d been taking care of himself. “Thanks, Hap. You being here today was really important to me,” Tony said, his eyes flitting from side to side to avoid having to see the look on Happy’s face. He learned that being honest was the best policy, but it didn’t stop it from feeling a little weird. Talking about his feelings wasn’t the easiest thing in the world.

“Glad you’re back, Tony. It’s been too quiet around here.”

----

The process of getting back into society was harder than he figured it would be. Though he went away for a while, the world did not forget the tragic picture of him passed out on the ground, the later news of his overdose painting the picture more fully and discoloring how the public saw him even more. As he predicted, the SI board didn’t have any intention of letting him come back any time soon – the idea that his company stood in the hands of someone else for an undetermined amount of time made him want to punch something; but it was his own fault, the consequences were his to deal with.

In place of working, Tony developed a routine throughout the day that took up his time and allowed him to stay organized and far away from the listless feeling that could so easily take him over. Every morning, he got up at 8 to eat a breakfast that he cooked himself. It took a couple of weeks to master the art of making eggs, but he managed, regardless. After breakfast, he hit the gym in his building and ran out his troubles on the treadmill until he couldn’t feel his legs anymore.

In desperation during his first few days at home, Tony asked Jarvis for good food places around the city to try – ever since, he’d been slowly going down the list. Some of the places were upscale and took lots of money to have a high quality cup of coffee, and some were mom and pop places that cooked love into every bite. In all of his years of being in the city, Tony hadn’t thought to explore the local eateries and highly regretted it – there were so many things he missed out on.

During his food trips, Tony got to see different parts of the city – some that he didn’t know existed before walking through them. One particular adventure led him to a part of Brooklyn that looked newer, despite the older neighborhoods surrounding it. Jarvis told him about a brunch place that was rumored to make the best waffles. The walk there was interesting and filled with many mural covered walls that were incredible. Stopping to take pictures of a couple of them, Tony walked right into the line for Snooze without really meaning to.

The toe of his foot hit the back of the man’s shoe in front of him in his haste to stop before barreling into him completely. Sucking in a breath, Tony let himself be grateful for his fast reflexes before he looked up to apologize to the person he almost took out. Brown eyes that met his were filled with amusement and focused solely on him. “I’m so sorry. I saw a Storm Trooper mural a block over and got caught up looking at the picture I took of it,” Tony babbled. “I got here before I realized.”

A soft smile also belonged to the man with eyes that carried a shine to them, the man’s teeth white and adding to the intensity of his grin. “That’s okay. I stopped and looked at that mural for a bit, too. If you go down a couple of blocks, there’s a Boba Fett one.” The man looked over his shoulder to make sure the line wasn’t moving before turning towards Tony completely. “Are you a big Star Wars fan?”

By the time they got up to the door, Tony found out that the man, who he came to know as Peter, worked as a freelance CPA and jogged around the neighborhood not far from here. He followed the smells to Snooze, his trip there totally unplanned, unlike Tony’s. They talked about the newest trilogy additions to the Skywalker story and decided that Ben Skywalker shouldn’t have died after all. The hostess looked at the two of them and didn’t think to ask if they were together or separate, she simply led them to a small table. And neither man stopped her.

One brunched turned into coffee on the Upper East Side, and then Chicago style pizza in Queens. Peter seemed to enjoy the different food adventures that they went on – the man jumping on every chance that he could to join Tony. Many times, their meet ups to get food turned into walks around the closest park or trips through museums and art galleries. In his life, Peter was the only person that didn’t judge him. He didn’t have the knowledge to do so, but something told him Peter probably wouldn’t, regardless.

In spending all of that time together, Tony inevitably started finding himself falling for the charismatic Peter Parker who talked with his mouth full and could put away an entire pizza all by himself. Tony came to know that Peter was left-handed and enjoyed ketchup on his hamburgers but not mustard. CPAs that made their own business hours got to work whenever they wanted and on off days, they played squash and read to kids at the Brooklyn Public Library. For every bad quality that Tony had, Peter countered it with something so positive, it became more obvious that he was way too good for him.

Baggage like his was hard for him to carry – he couldn’t imagine placing that on someone else’s shoulders, especially someone as good and kind as Peter Parker.

A desperate attempt to save Peter and his goodness from the inevitable way that Tony fucked everything up, he took a couple of steps back from their friendship. Instead of meeting Peter almost every day, he limited himself to once a week and tried to keep it as friendly as possible. A hard feat, it seemed, after 3 weeks of Peter looking at him curiously. More than anything, Tony wanted to run his hand across Peter’s cheek to flatten out the slight frown, but he held back – one touch would send him down a rabbit hole he more than likely shouldn’t explore.

Their latest get together felt a little strained, Tony could feel it from the second he walked up. Peter wasn’t nearly as friendly as usual and left before Tony could even suggest walking to the ice cream place he scoped out on his way to the restaurant. He tried not to feel disappointed – his attempts to create some distance between them were working. The sucky feelings that came along with them, however – they were not.

The very next day, Tony was surprised by the sound of his elevator opening a little after 7PM. There were only 3 people that knew the access code to his elevator and 2 of them were currently out of town getting ready for the Stark Expo. Thinking about that made his skin prickle, so he pushed the thought aside and made it over to the doors. He knew Peter would be there, but the sight of him standing in the foyer of his house hit a little different. The last time he was here, they were excitedly heading out to try Cronuts & Co – smiles on their faces.

Now, Peter looked at him with a mix of hurt and confusion. Tony matched him – after their time together last night, he was surprised that Peter wanted anything to do with him at all.

“Sorry to just show up, Tony. I just – what happened? I need to know. Things were going great. Then an alien overtook you and you left the building. I’m – scared. If nothing else, you’re my friend and the 180 is a little concerning.” The admittance caused the man to stop talking, the red on his cheeks spreading quickly, the color going all the way down his neck and probably further. “Did I do something? I’m sorry if I did – just please, tell me what’s going on.”

Tony took a step back, every word hitting him square in the chest. So wrapped up in his own shit, he didn’t even see the panicked look in Peter’s eyes – the one that was staring back at him so heavily now. Pulling in a deep breath, Tony bucked up, a new sort of determination settling within him. “There’s a lot that you don’t know. Too much for the foyer of my apartment. Come in, I’ll get you a drink.”

Five minutes of reprieve Tony got while he poured them a couple of small shots of bourbon felt like enough time to collect himself. Disclosing the most intimate details of his situation wasn’t how he figured he’d spend the night, but it seemed right – to finally get the pressure off his chest. Tony slugged his drink back, then took a seat on the couch next to Peter.

“I’m sure you know the basics about me. I think the picture of me fainting at that press conference is a meme,” Tony uttered, an uncomfortable chuckle leaving his lips. “I got a little lost after I got back from the desert. I have a thing – where I fixate and get restless and have trouble focusing and after I got things squared away with Obadiah Stane, I just sort of lost the way completely. I fucked up a perfectly good opportunity to make the company my own, Pete. I fucked up so much in my life and the last thing – the absolute last fucking thing I want to do is fuck anything up with you – especially you, Pete.”

He watched Peter suck back the booze in his glass – the bob of the Adam’s apple in his throat almost distracting enough to ignore the anxiety rolling through him. Long fingers pressed the glass into the coffee table, then those very same fingers were grabbing his hand. “You don’t owe me your past, Tony. I knew who you were when I met you. I liked the way you looked so lost the first time we met. You have a great personality and a kind of thirst for life that I’m really excited about.” His fingers tangled with Tony’s, the man using his leverage to pull him closer. “I don’t care how you got here, Tony.”

It was a little overwhelming, hearing Peter speak so candidly. Almost everyone else in his life wrote him off – how a random person could have such faith in him blew him away. There wasn’t a lot of sense in it, but in his journey over the last year, Tony realized most things didn’t.

A soft hand on his face brought him out of his thoughts, the smile Tony came to adore present on Peter’s face when he looked up. “How about we just take it a step at a time? Might be good for the both of us,” Peter suggested, his thumb running over Tony’s cheek as he spoke.

Leaning in, Tony let his lips press against Peter’s lightly, the ghost of a kiss enough for the moment. He gave Peter’s hand a squeeze and gulped in a breath, a genuine smile slipping across his face.

“Sounds okay to me, Pete.”

#starker #ironspider #ask prompt #bobbie writes #nonnie #anonymous #spend my days locked in a haze

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infiniteglitterfall · 5 years ago

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Hi! I have atypical autism and I’m having trouble at work. I feel like no work place is working out for me because of my diagnosis. I’m uncomfortable around my colleagues, I’m quiet, I don’t know when to speak or what to say etc. I’m sad, mad and frustrated that this ruins every work place for me and I don’t know what job would fit me. I’ve never told my bosses that I have atypical autism and I don’t want to do it either. I want advice on what I should do

this is a great question! I didn’t know what atypical autism was, but I googled it and it sounds like they came up with this because they can’t call it asperger’s anymore? “a subthreshold diagnosis, presenting with some symptoms of autism but insufficient to meet criteria for a diagnosis of childhood autism (or autistic disorder). Alternatively, atypical autism can be diagnosed when there is a late onset of symptomatology.” Aka DDNOS, apparently. From my perspective, it doesn’t sound different from any other autistic experience. FWIW. I think they tend to base their diagnostic labels more on how we seem from the outside than what our experiences really are. just my onion It sounds like you’re struggling with social anxiety, in that special vicious-cycle kind of way where not knowing how to interact with people makes you more anxious, and that makes it harder to interact with them, which makes you more anxious....? The nice thing about vicious cycles is that you only have to knock out part of the cycle to make the whole thing fall apart. Like: if you didn’t feel anxious about not knowing when to speak or what to say, it would be easier to figure out when to speak or what to say. Which, in turn, would give you less reason to feel anxious about it, et cetera. Or, if you knew what to say to them and how to hit it off, you would have fewer triggers for your anxiety, which would then make it easier to.... you get the idea. There are a lot of things that help with social anxiety. I am going to give a shout-out to medication, first of all. There are a lot of life hacks and therapeutic techniques that help a lot. And for yeeeeeaaaars, I didn’t realize that I really had anxiety, and also, thought that I “should” see if I could manage anything myself before “resorting to” meds. Turns out, medication saves me a TON of spoons, which I was previously using to “manage” depression, anxiety, and ADHD. You would not BELIEVE how much more energy and just general functionality I had when I finally got my meds right. OMFG. It can be a pain in the ass to find the right medication, especially if it means first having to find a medical practitioner that can help you and then having to explain the situation. Sometimes you find something that helps you right away. Sometimes you have to try different things to find something that works well enough. Sometimes you get the fun of “doesn’t work for me AND has bad side effects for me.” (OTOH, when looking at side effects, always remember that you might not get any of the side effects.) IMHO, the hardest part of finding the right medication is that a lot of practitioners don’t know how to track whether it’s helping you or not. Or whether it’s helping ENOUGH. Like: I got on anxiety meds that were starting to help, but which were making my ADHD meds not work. I tried a bunch of other things, and finally got Vyvanse to work for my ADHD. But I managed to FORGET that my anxiety meds weren’t doing anything, for a full year, until things got really bad and I was like “wait a minute... these should be helping????” And I did some research, accidentally found a competent psychiatrist, and found that Cymbalta worked for me... but even then, if I hadn’t found decent tools for assessing if it was enough, I would’ve stopped at like half the dose I actually needed to be on. This post is gonna be long as it is, so I’m gonna reblog to add different tools you can use to gauge what’s working, and which will help medical professionals understand what you’re experiencing. (Because tbh, they’re often just plain ignorant about this shit.) You do not necessarily have to go to a psychiatrist to get medication for anxiety, social or otherwise! My partner’s OBGYN prescribed him depression meds. My family doctor was willing to prescribe stuff for depression and anxiety, but only if it was something that didn’t potentially interact with ADHD meds. My chosen brother’s doctor was asking EVERYBODY, after the 2016 election, how they were doing and if they needed depression/anxiety meds. (And they’re in North Carolina!) He had never really thought about it before, and in fact, when he started taking them, his social anxiety got so much better that he was doing shit like going back into the store to tell them they’d given him too much change. He was the one who got me to think about taking them. He had a little kid, and he was like, "I’m doing this for my family.” Ok, medication aside: Some kinds of therapy are really good for figuring out how to interact with people. I’ve been learning a lot about different modalities, and I would recommend finding someone who does what’s called “relational therapy” or “relational-cultural therapy.” Basically, relational therapy is ALL about learning how to interact with people and have better relationships of all kinds. It’s very connected with issues of marginalization: people who are into relational therapy learn about how marginalization, and abuse, affect us and our relationships. Like, how we can internalize a ton of shame, just from being autistic and being devalued by the people around us. Even just from existing in a world that doesn’t value or understand how we communicate, and how we experience things. And it’s really good for identifying that stuff, healing from the struggles of trying to interact with people, and learning how to relate to people in a way that works for you. I found an organization that explains it pretty well (”Are you anxious when it comes to social situations like the workplace?... If we are depressed or anxious, inevitably it can be traced back to tension or breakdowns in relationships, or an inability to connect”), has a blog post in the sidebar called “Signs of Aspergers In Adults - Sound Familiar?” and apparently does therapy globally via Skype. I have never used them, I don’t know anything about them, I just googled “relational therapy” “online therapist.” (Shockingly, tho, that blog post not only links to one by an actually autistic person, but is very positive about autistic traits. I’m impressed so far. And I’m sure there are other options out there, too.) Lastly (as far as Things That I Personally Know Work go), I’ve gotten a LOT of recovery around social anxiety, and learned how to build relationships at work, from 12-step programs. The reason it works for that, as far as I can tell, is: • It’s a peer-led model, where everyone is equal. (this was huge to me, because I really struggled for a long time with feeling like everyone knew better than I did and had more of a right to talk about anything than I did, and therapy was a tough way to deal with things at that point because I saw the therapist as A Professional who’s In Charge.) • There’s a lot of emphasis on the fact that the newcomer who just walked into the room has as much of a right to give input in a business meeting, or to volunteer to help out with something that doesn’t require specific experience, or to share what’s going on with them, as anybody else. • Everybody there has gone through the same stuff as you, and anybody who’s helping you is showing you what worked for them, not what they were taught would work for people. That can be a pretty big difference, especially in terms of being able to relate to them and share personal things with them. • Working the steps involves a lot of writing about your fears and resentments, and looking at, basically, what has and hasn’t worked for you, and why it hasn’t worked. Really, what you're doing there is seeing where you can reclaim your power. And then you deal with a lot of shame, and get to discover how much you’re like other people, and how much you’re equal to other people, and that you’re a good addition to the world. • You also connect with your intuition, when working the steps, and develop a better sense of what’s intuition and what’s fear/anxiety. That, and sharing in meetings, REALLY helped me get a sense of what to say to people and get comfortable saying things. (A lot of people shorthand what I’m calling “intuition” as “god,” but it’s very much supposed to be a nonreligious idea of “god.” and IME, it’s basically your intuition, whether your belief system says that’s god talking to you, or a psychological thing, or a mystical force, or what.) Plus, 12-step stuff is free, which I’m very much in favor of lol. And most 12-step orgs have phone meetings and online meetings, so you don’t even have to go in person if that’s a barrier. (and in a phone meeting, they might not even know you’re there!) The tricky part can be figuring out which 12-step groups are good in your area and what might work for you. Because they range from Alcoholics Anonymous to, like... what’s the most obscure one I can think of? ARTS Anonymous, I guess. (it’s for artists who are stuck, it’s not saying art is an addiction) But if you wanted to try 12-step for this, I would say that Emotions Anonymous is really good for dealing with all sorts of emotional and mental health stuff. (and holy shit, they have an app????) Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families has, iirc, a good book, (as well as all the meetings and whatnot) and most people probably qualify for that. If you have any experience with sexual assault, abuse, harassment, or being cheated on, COSA is good, and you end up working on all your other relationships and emotional stuff along the way.

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laceymorganwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Rag Doll

Word Count: 3,705

Pairing: Akutagawa x reader

Warnings: swearing i guess

A/N: i love this edgy Boy, don´t think i wrote him well tho...

(Y/E/O/N) = your enemy´s organization´s name

The headquarters of the Port Mafia illuminated the city of Yokohama, keeping control over it in its central location. Being an organization of this size and importance could be stressful at times, especially if certain members were to go on their own all the time. But in the end they fulfilled their missions and kept everything how it should be. Missions could be tiring however and even the Port Mafia needed to rest and relax sometimes.

If one were to turn in a little corner by the train station, they were to encounter a certain bar, the Rag Doll. It wasn´t just an ordinary bar, oh no, it was the base of an underground information gathering organization that had close ties to the Mafia and worked together with the major organization.

The organization was led by none other than (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Being a former soldier and spy for several organizations you were sick of following orders and fighting for a cause you didn´t believe in.

It did have its perks working in a bar visited by infamous criminals who were dependent on you, such as gossip and protection.

Oh and the poor souls who entered the bar on this very night…

“Could you spare some chlorine?” Dazai asked with gleaming eyes, making you roll your eyes.

“Didn´t you want to die without being a burden to anyone? What kind of image would my bar have if people heard I served chlorine? I have normal costumers too, believe it or not” you scolded the brunet, crossing your arms and shaking your head. Dazai squinted his eyes. “You´re not making this easy for me...” he mumbled.

“People like you don´t deserve an easy death, that´d be quite anticlimactic now, wouldn´t it?” you giggled, having known Dazai quite a while throughout your carrier of changing carriers so often.

Dazai smirked. “I guess you´re right...” he gave in and you placed a glass of whiskey before him.

He stared at it lost in his thoughts while you served the other costumers, meanwhile learning new info on several enemy organizations from your colleagues. “(Y/E/O/N), huh? They´ve been a pain for quite a while now actually...” you thought out loud.

As you stepped in front of Dazai again, his face lit up. “So you´ve been having trouble with them too?” he asked, a suggestive undertone in his voice. You rolled your eyes but couldn´t help but smile. “Wanna team up?” you finally asked… but didn´t get the reaction you anticipated.

“Maybe you can teach my subordinate how not to be a complete failure” he chuckled.

Your happy expression changed into a stone cold one. “He´s just a kid, Dazai” you said through gritted teeth. “He´s not that much younger than me, you know? And yet… he´s just too… unstable” he said in a disgusted voice, it enraged you. “As if you´re one to talk about mental stability! He´s from the slums, you have to understand how hard it must be for him… but instead you just had to make him a perfect weapon, a soldier… you disgust me, Dazai” maybe Akutagawa´s situation made you this emotional because he reminded you of himself, ripped out of a shitty environment, forced to work in a worse one. He didn´t have a chance to choose, he didn´t even have a say in it. You sure pitied the kid. “Do you know how dangerous he would be with an ability like this if I didn´t raise him right? He´s far too uncontrolled with his ability to let him out of my sight” Dazai defended himself, but you weren´t going to give in that easily. “Don´t give me that crap, Dazai! If you would actually have some decency and kindness, hell patience would be enough! If you keep treating him like you do, he´s gonna grow up feeling like a worthless piece of shit. You know, I´m really asking myself why you saved him when you couldn´t care less. People like you shouldn´t be put in charge of people like him!” you glared at him. Dazai just tilted his head, chuckling.

“You seem to care very much about him” he noticed.

You started cleaning the counter, grunting at his comment. “Maybe it´s just because unlike you I´m a decent fucking person” you grumbled.

“I doubt that...you´re a master at your craft after all, and that is deceiving people. But I have to give it to you, nobody does it quite like you” he sighed dreamily.

You clenched your jaw and stared him down. “Why thank you” you chuckled bitterly.

He knew damn well why you did the things you did, it was out of the need for money and because you were forced, to be fair you did it because you liked it now but that was a different story.

Dazai stared at you for a while with an amused expression on his face while you still held your cold one. “Well, that was a fun night. I´ll see you tomorrow” Dazai put down the money for the drink on the counter and left the bar, leaving you with a headache.

When you arrived to work in the next morning Dazai and Akutagawa were already there.

“Good morning, (Y/N)” Dazai smiled at you, but you didn´t respond. Instead you checked in on your coworkers and caught up on the information needed for the mission.

“As you all should know by now, today is the day we raid (Y/E/O/N)´s base and attack them! We will crush them, I don´t accept failure today. This is too important. Alright everybody, commence your positions and don´t die on me, we´re already short staffed. Good luck, guys, see you in the evening” you gave a little pep talk and were about to get ready for your part of the job as well.

That was when you remembered Dazai and his subordinate were still there. “You´re still here? Don´t you have your own plan on taking them out? Starting a massacre or something?” you teased to which Dazai scoffed.

“I wish you were wrong… most of us follow the plan you assigned to us, but we do have our little troublemakers” he shot a glare at Akutagawa who clenched his jaw.

“Okay then, why are you still sitting around here? Don´t you have something useful to do? Come on, Dazai, you must have planned some wicked scheme” you placed your hand on his shoulder. He just chuckled. “Maybe I do… but more importantly, could you take care of my subordinate today. I can´t risk him screwing up again” he muttered, making you frown.

“Don´t give them any trouble and follow their orders, do you understand?” Dazai turned to Akutagawa. He nodded, still not looking up.

You sighed. “I´m getting dressed, Dazai, explain the plan to him, I´ll be right back” you rushed into the backroom and put on the clothes you picked out for the mission.

(Y/E/O/N) was known for holding illegal auctions and you planned on infiltrating one and destroying them from the inside.

After you joined them again, Dazai left you alone.

“It´s nice to finally meet you, Akutagawa” you told him. “I heard very much about you. And before we begin I need you to know that you´re not a failure. I know that we will succeed. You just have to trust in your own strength, because others won´t always be there to do so” you said, but didn´t get any reaction out of him.

“The weak don´t have a right to live” he replied like a mantra.

You frowned, slowly placing a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered at the contact but let your hand remain.

“But you´re not weak…” you reassured him.

His eye twitched at your words but you paid it no mind.

He irritated you, of course you got why he would have such a mindset, growing up in his environment it was only natural. But being saved from such circumstances one ought to be utterly traumatized, grateful to their savior. Normally such Darwinism should vanish from his thoughts, so why was it that he still strove to be the strongest? As if he wasn´t worth being alive otherwise.

Dazai must´ve fucked him up worse than the slums, you thought.

“You´re under no obligation to prove anything to anyone” you told him in all honesty.

“I know. Let´s finish the mission” he said through clenched teeth, apparently you hit a nerve.

In silence you walked to the location and infiltrated it successfully.

“Secure the entrances, make sure nobody can leave. There´s gonna be a massacre here shortly, it would be a shame if anybody missed it” you smirked, distracting people while Akutagawa imprisoned the people.

“Now that was easy, let´s get to the fun part, shall we?” you smiled and started slicing people up with the knives hidden in your clothes.

Akutagawa joined you with his Rashomon and you finished the mission in short time.

Your colleagues would clean up later.

You had a few hours before you had to head back to work so you went home to relax a bit. Akutagawa was gone before you could even say goodbye.

Somehow you felt as if you screwed up, you´d never get to know him now.

But who could blame him? The act of surviving that was his life so far couldn´t be called living, he merely existed, it was easier with thick walls all around him. It was easier if he didn´t let anybody in.

Hell, it even made sense, so why were you so glum about it?

Why was it that you cared so much about him? Why did you want to understand him so badly? You never wanted to be the person to fix other people and force them to face their problems but why did you feel like that was who you were right now?

In the course of the next weeks you ran into Dazai and Akutagawa multiple times, the Mafia and your organization worked close together very often nowadays.

Akutagawa still was distant towards you, not even looking at you while doing missions together.

Your current target was Mimic, Dazai and his friends were involved very closely.

After researching their base and handing the information over to the Mafia you considered your job done and in the evening you wandered through the city, not feeling tired at all.

Something was keeping you awake.

Well, you still couldn´t wrap your head around Akutagawa, but that was silly.

You walked to your favorite spot in the hills where you had a beautiful view of the city.

Sighing you sat down on the bench and stared at the city lights that gleamed in the night sky.

“Dazai-san partnered us up for the mission tomorrow” you didn´t even hear him coming.

Staying in your position, now forcing yourself to look straight ahead and not at him, you nodded.

“Beautiful, isn´t it?” you mumbled, talking about the view.

Akutagawa nodded, thinking about you.

“Dazai must really hate you, huh?” you chuckled, finally looking up to him with sad eyes.

He frowned. “Why?” he asked, stalking closer to you, eventually sitting next to you on the bench.

“Come on, every time we have a mission, we get paired up. Because Dazai´s twisted like that, you know?” you shook your head.

Dazai was another person you couldn´t wrap your head around. Were you friends? Were you enemies? Something in between?

“So that´s how you see it…” he mumbled.

“Dazai´s so sadistic, everyone can see you hate my guts, but no he just has to have us work together. I don´t know what he promises himself from that, but it´s Dazai, you never know with him” you thought out loud.

“If you say so…” Akutagawa said in an annoyed tone.

“Why are you even here? I mean, I could´ve found out we were paired up again by myself tomorrow, there was no need for you to tell me in person like this.” you thought out loud.

“I like this place, didn´t know you were here” he lied, looking down to his feet.

You groaned, you really didn´t want to say anything but you just had to.

“You told me the weak don´t deserve to live when we first met, remember? But I´ve always wondered: did you mean the mentally weak or the physically weak? And what about those who evolve to be strong? Either way, you should´ve killed me after that statement” you rambled.

Akutagawa held his breath, how were you able to scratch at his walls like that? Question him like that? And bring up his past and personal issues? How could you read him like that?

“Being weak and thinking you´re weak are two different things” he said flat out, making you laugh.

He frowned. “What´s so funny?” he crossed his arms.

“Nothing, I just didn´t think you actually had a reason not to kill me” your words came out sounding more annoyed than you actually were.

“Tch, you irritate me” Akutagawa said through clenched teeth.

You groaned. “Oh really? Why is that? Because I speak my mind? Are you so unused to that? I have so many more reasons to be irritated by you than you!” you raised your voice, turning to face him.

“I don´t think I have the same effect on you as you have on me” he told you plainly, making you even more confused.

“What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Can´t you just say what you mean once in your life?” you fumed.

“Why should I do that if I don´t know its consequences?” he questioned, now that perplexed you quite a bit. He didn´t seem like a guy who thought about the consequences of his actions.

“You know, maybe I should hate you. It´s easier that way” Akutagawa stated, not waiting for you to say anything, he just vanished without another word.

He left you wondering what just happened.

Great, the day before the mission you really wanted a good night´s sleep, but now he ruined it.

You hated your brain for it but you would think about him all night, unable to sleep.

You also hated your predictions to become true in the next morning when you had to meet up with Akutagawa.

Luckily his declaration of last night also meant he ignored you, you really weren´t in the mood for talking.

All the talking was broken down into information necessary for the mission.

In silence the two of you walked to the location, at first you thought you were too late, but in fact you were just in time.

Well, too late for the plan you worked so hard and long on, but just in time to step into action and stop Mimic´s leader who was about to kill Odasaku, Dazai´s friend.

Normally you would´ve waited and hidden in a safe spot before raiding the enemy´s base.

Now without thinking, with a mere second of analyzing the situation, you dashed forward in between the two men who were about to shoot each other.

Everything that happened happened in an instance, so fast, it almost felt like forever.

You saw something rushing toward you from the corner of your eye and the next thing you knew, black matter stabbed Mimic´s leader to death and red light illuminated you, acting as an armor, a shield of sorts.

It felt warm and yet it was over as soon as it began.

“What are you guys doing here?” Odasaku spoke up before you could voice your confusion.

Quickly you pushed the thought of what the fuck just happened to the back of your head and gave a short mission report.

“Well, some bird told us you got yourself in trouble and it´s our mission to take out Mimic anyway, so it´s kinda like killing two birds with one stone, right?” you smiled at him.

“I guess, but I had it under control” he defended himself.

“You were just about to get killed, I wouldn´t say that gives the impression of being under control”

You commented, still not grasping how lucky you were, how perfectly in time. You had to commend yourself for thinking so fast, you didn´t think you still had it in you.

“Yeah, you might be right. Well, thanks for saving me again” he showed his gratitude and went back to the mafia´s base with Akutagawa.

“Wait a second, Akutagawa!” you caught up to him.

“What was that just now? I didn´t know your ability is able of defense, you have to tell Dazai, I think he´ll be proud of you” you complimented him.

He stared at you for a while in his cold, emotionless manner, but his eyes were different than normally, there was something soft in them.

“I didn´t really think about it” he admitted.

“Well, either way, you did a good job today. Intentionally or not, you saved me, thank you. I mean it” you told him, trying to look him in the eyes but it was like he was looking right through you.

“Like I said, I didn´t mean to do it, I just did” he said sharply and joined Odasaku on his way.

You didn´t know what you expected, but some part of you had hoped he did it intentionally.

And that part hurt like hell right now.

It was ridiculous and you knew it but for some reason he got to you and you despised it.

This feeling made you so unable to concentrate and feel dizzy and it was just horrible.

You felt utter defeat when you walked back to the Rag Doll.

And as if that wasn´t enough, Dazai was the first thing that caught your eye.

He sat at the bar, flirting with the barmaid and when he saw you, he gave you an amused look.

“What´s so funny, Osamu?” you weren´t in the mood for his twisted schemes today.

“Oh nothing, just the way you can break people. I never thought my subordinate would let you get to him, and yet… and yet he hasn´t been able to think straight ever since he met you.” he sounded disgusted, like a child whose toy has been broken. Maybe it was boredom as well, you could never tell with Dazai.

You sighed and shook your head, you didn´t know whether you should laugh or cry.

“What are you trying to achieve, Dazai? I can´t handle your bullshit today, so why don´t you just tell me your true intentions for once?” you groaned, oh how you wished you could just be at home in your bed right now, away from everything that´s been going on.

“I could ask you the same thing. You accused me of not caring about Akutagawa, but if I didn´t care why would I have saved him? And yes, maybe I did fuck up in raising him, how could I not? I have never done this before. But I know one thing: if he wants to survive in this cruel world, he has to be strong. And he has to be selfish, because the world is too, nobody will care about him and he has to learn that. I can´t have you breaking his heart, I can´t have you trying to fix him, I can´t let you make him let his guard down. Because that way the world will eat him alive” Dazai told you and for once he was honest. That didn´t mean his words didn´t hurt you.

“I´m sorry, Dazai. For doubting you. You´re right, I shouldn´t be around him… but why do you keep pairing us up if you know that?” you felt your lungs squeeze together, cutting off the air, making it hard to breathe. Your heart ached and your hands started to shake as you desperately tried to fight back the tears, it was semi-working.

He chuckled, looking at you with something you could only identify as pity.

“I see the way he looks at you, Akutagawa is always so angry and stern. You somehow manage to calm him down. I´m not stupid, (Y/N). I know what you feel for him. I´m sorry about the way my words came out before, I just wanted to make sure your feelings were honest. I don´t think there´s anyone better for him than you. I have a feeling that you can tear down his walls, maybe make him more sociable… we´ll see. Either way I´m excited to see where this is going”

Dazai smiled at you.

“You´re making this seem as if I actually stand a chance...” you mumbled, you knew exactly what Akutagawa thought of you, he wouldn´t ever see you the same way you saw him.

“Dazai-san, is it true what you said? Does (Y/N) really….? Oh, excuse me”

Akutagawa came rushing through the entrance, he didn´t even see you until Dazai cleared his throat and pointed at you.

“Yes, she likes you back. I´ll leave you two alone now” Dazai mentioned casually before he left.

You almost choked on your breath and blushed heavily, you thought now was a good time to escape but your legs wouldn´t listen to you.

Both of you said nothing for a while and who could blame you? This was what one would call an exceptional awkward situation.

Akutagawa was the first to find his voice again while you were still thinking about your escape route.

“So… is it true?” he asked, not meeting your eyes. His voice was low, like he was trying to suppress something.

You gave up trying to run, what was the point in it?

“Yes” a simple word, taking a leap of faith, you let out the breath you didn´t know you held.

You couldn´t even look into his eyes, too scared of what his reaction might be.

Whatever horrible things you imagined didn´t happen.

Instead Akutagawa was… coughing? And that rather heavily.

You rushed over to him and placed your hand on his shoulder gently.

“Are you alright? Can I do something?” you asked, but he just shook his head.

After a few minutes he was done coughing and looked sideways in embarrassment.

“You too make me feel… things” he bluntly stated, making your heart beat faster.

You smiled at him and took his hand and he let you.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs imagine #bungo stray dogs oneshot #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #bsd #bsd imagines #bsd imagine #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa #akutagawa ryuuonosuke #ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa x reader #reader insert #imagine #oneshot

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queenie-in-the-beanie · 5 years ago

Note

Please elaborate on the english teacher enemies. (And the cryptid appearance stuff)

Ooooh story time!

Teacher number one, who we'll call Karen, was my public speaking teacher in freshman year. She was also an English teacher.

Now, she was very very openly conservative. Straight up had a big white flag with the Republican elephant brandished over that hung on her back classroom wall. Plus there was the little cups of miniature American flags and the cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen in the corner. No joke

Ghastly interior decorating aside, there were a lot of little things she did that raised red flags, like how on day we had a classroom discussion about accusations and truth, during the Kavanaugh hearing. She made it clear that she thought the accusations we faked to get 15 minutes of fame to ruin a man's career. Now, there's always more harm in doubting and turning away potential victims than there is in believing the possible weight in the claims. Plus all her talk on how his career would be ruined forever because of a potential lie ended up getting proven wrong when that man got the seat anyway.

Then there was that time when I forgot to send her the PowerPoint for a presentation and she gave me an immediate zero without hesitation. She only reconsidered once the other students spoke out because I was clearly having an anxiety attack about it. The next day when I gave my presentation and she gave it high praise, not an apology was heard at all.

Now, here's real the real meat on the bone is. One day she gave everyone an assignment to write a persuasive speech with a free choice of topic. The speech also had to address a counterargument and have the topic approved by her. My friend in that class decided to do a speech on trans rights in the wake of the then recent Trump trans military ban. When she went up to Karen, Karen decided to provide to provide counterargument ideas, but her own opinions quickly seeped through that veil. She said amount other things "so a guy dressing up as a girl can take advantage of a free surgery?" and "why should they be given *extra* rights?"

My trans ally ass hears this so I peep in and try to educate her that cross dressing and being Transgender are not the same thing at all. She said "okay, but why should the military pay for their surgery then?". My friend and I argued about the importance of having access to gender-transition medical care is, but it didn't really get through her thick, close-minded skull.

Later that day, I did some research and emailed her a full ass government research paper about the cost of gender transition medical care being added to the military budget and how it was less that a 1% increase of spending. It was the perfect cocktail of statistics and facts to shut down the arguments that banning Transgender people from the military was a way to "cut costs" when it wouldn't really anything other than perpetuate transphobia.

The following is an exact quote from what she emailed back to me:

"" I am really not a “ban those trans genders from serving”-type person. However I am a “ban anyone who wants to USE the military to get what they want” person. I think anyone who TRULY wants to serve their country should be able to in most cases. However, my father was denied service because of his eyesight. My friend because of his asthma. People have “conditions” all the time that eliminate their ability to serve. I don’t know if I fully believe that all trans genders shouldn’t serve, but I’m probably more of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” type of supporter. That might sound bigoted, but I don’t mean it to. I don’t think we have to verbally diarrhea all facets of our lives to be “happy,” tho the current generations seem to believe so. ""

We don't have time to unpack all of that but basically:

Fuck Karen :)

Second teacher isn't a bigot (thank god) but was one of the most unorganized and weirdest English teachers I've ever had. I'm going to call him Wombat Man and just put a list of all the bad teaching he's done:

Had such a messy desk that he lost multiple students tests which they all had to redo

Took anywhere from weeks to months to grade assignments, which would negatively affect our grades

Would spend a lot of classroom time playing "brain break" activities instead of letting us work on assignments. For context, we were a classroom of all 15/16 year olds throwing around a ball in a classroom instead of learning

Wombat Man also had a rule where no technology was allowed and if he saw it he'd put a bag on your desk which you were expected to put whatever you had in and then leave on his desk.

Additionally if he ever saw you breaking one of his rules and he wasn't able for whatever reason to tell you to stop, he told us he would stare at us until we stopped. Hello 911?

He once said that people shouldn't care as much about marijuana legalization as much as they should mass incarceration even when THOSE TWO ISSUES ARE DIRECTLY LINKED YA DUMB BUTT

When the district writing essay topic was about whether to ban cell phones in schools said "you teens are so addicted to your phones you'll through logic out the window" after a discussion with some valid arguments he chose to undermine and ignore.

Once said "Shakespeare was really nasty" which was creepy as fuck and kinda out of no where

There was once an assignment where we had to talk about our choice read book to him and he'd give us points for it. It's simple enough that one would have hope he wouldn't fuck it up...

So anyway he forgot to record the score for my friend which ending up dropping their grade. After several emails which he never responded to, my friend marched over demanding an explanation. He said that the two email addresses my friend sent multiple emails too were for work submissions only.

That's right, he had two separate emails, both only for submitting work, and didn't bother to tell my friend that after several emails sent.

Eventually my friend put his foot down and said he wasn't leaving until his grade was submitted. Wombat Man caved but still took a whole ass month to finally put in the grade

There was also once this story from his last year student that after not respecting Wombat Man in class, Wombat man followed the student out to their car once class ended at the end of the day and demanded an apology.

I could go on but you basically get the point. Wombat Man was unprofessional, unorganized and straight up weird as fuck to the point of fucking up grades and making his classroom a living hell.

Ironically enough, Karen and Wombat Man had classrooms right next to each other. Two hellish teachers, one hallway. Lucky me.

As for my cryptid appearance, I look like the very basic starter pack of a confused lesbian. I've got glasses, long brown hair that I don't know how to manage, a solid 5"5 stature, nearly always wear a beanie so my strong gay vides are even more visible, and I apparently walk very weird which now that I think about it, yeah.

I have that kinda face which is a solid 6/10 which can look either good or bad based in how your standards are.

#queenie talks #asks #teacher stories #bad teachers #transphobia

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nessacoleman · 5 years ago

Text

[ china anne mcclain . 20 . cis female . she/her ] just saw VANESSA COLEMAN dragging their suitcase up the steps to CABIN 2D . good luck living with HER , i hear that that they’re MEDDLESOME , CHILDISH , CLEVER & OUTSPOKEN . Apparently they’re a VOLUNTEER. let’s hope the upcoming season doesn’t affect their JUNIOR year of COMPUTER SCIENCE.

yoooo it’s rae again! more info about vanessa under the cut <3

brief background - feel free to skip ( drug mention tw )

born to on-again, off-again high school sweethearts in california. she lived with her mom and maternal grandparents until her parents were ready to move into another place when she was two. they married shortly after that, and her dad started dealing to better provide for the family.

growing up, school came very easy to her. she felt ostracized by her classmates, which made her pretty shy around them. this led to her becoming quite the teacher’s pet. she spent many recesses hanging out with teachers or reading.

it was in early middle school that she became extremely interested in STEM. her school didn’t have a great program, but she did a lot of outside research and studying to build her skills in its various subjects.

once she hit high school, she was granted a scholarship to attend a prestigious private high school in her state. she had already come out of her shell a lot by then, but she realized she didn’t have to only be “the smart one” anymore. she became more talkative and silly, no longer feeling pressured to act a certain way.

around sophomore year, a warrant was made for her dad’s arrest over multiple charges. he disappeared. vanessa and her mom had no idea where he was, until he contacted them two years later. to this day, they both have to pretend they’ve had no correspondence with him, even though her mom is still in regular contact with him. vanessa refuses to be a part of it. she’s still angry about the way he left them hanging with no initial explanation.

at school, she just pretended the situation wasn’t happening. whenever someone tried to ask her about it, she’d change the subject or do something to make them want to leave her alone. she started acting out and pulling pranks as a source of entertainment.

when it finally became time to start applying to colleges, she had her sights set on hollis. it took a lot of coercing ( and a teeny bit of blackmail ) to get good recommendation letters from some of her teachers, but she managed to conjure up a glowing application and get accepted.

present

doing pretty well academically, but she’s had a couple run-ins with the disciplinary committee due to her petty pranks and occasional rule breaking. picture vandalizing school statues, setting the computers in the library to play “goofy goober” all at once, stupid stuff like that. basically the school decided that compulsory volunteering at the knight camp was a suitable punishment for whatever antics she was involved with last year.

she prefers football, so she’s kinda annoyed that she has to spend the summer at a soccer camp. she’s trying to make the most of it tho and treat it like a personal paid vacation. catch her trying to shirk as many responsibilities as possible.

think stiles stilinski, penelope garcia, and mariana foster. smart as a whip, doesn’t think much before she speaks, and much more curious than she should be. she’s nosy asl and loves to find out other people’s business. she’ll often go out of her way to try to help someone, even if they specifically ask her not to.

thinks she’s the funniest, coolest, most awesome person anyone could ever meet, but she’s a dork tbh.

wanted connections

fellow jokester friends: they pull pranks, make tiktoks together, and constantly tag each other in worthless memes. probably even tried to start a youtube channel at one point but that flopped.

study buddies, classmates, project partners, etc: it’s mad stressful to be in a project w vanessa bc she tends to do all her work last-minute. they could’ve become friends or ended up resenting her for that.

frenemies: people that vanessa probably annoys but they keep her around for whatever reason anyway.

close friends/best friends: she can be friends with all types of people.

rival: for whatever reason, these two are constantly at some type of war with each other.

one-sided crushes, friendlt exes, unfriendly exes, people from childhood, high school friends,

sorry for all that y’all and excuse any typos! i told myself that i had to really think this out if i wanted to bring someone new lmao but pls like this or message me if you’d like to plot! i’m pretty open to most connections. she’s a lot friendlier than rashad ;)

#hollis.intro #drugs tw

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thelionshoarde · 6 years ago

Note

Voltron legendary defender, Shance, "Hey Beautiful. Oh $hit, wrong beautiful!" (You don't have to censor the swear if you're comfortable using it)

THIS IS SO LATE, but your prompt inspired an au where the galra never pick up the kerberos team and now shiro has to deal with being back home, not being as over adam as he thought he was, sick again for the first time in a while, and with the WHOLE WORLD now aware of his disease because sanda is a dick! And also most definitely some adorable shance. (or at least, i consider it adorable. there will be duck videos!!!) a thousand pardons for the tardiness, i kept waiting until i finished the whole fic but i’m hella slow and i just keep ADDING THINGS instead

anyway, this is JUST the scene with your prompt in it lol

psa: i focused mostly on ms rather than polio when researching for shiro’s disease, but 1) i need to do a lot more research and 2) i have no personal authority or experience over this topic (tho i do have some experience with chronic illness), so while i am trying to be respectful and realistic about what shiro in this circumstance might be dealing with, please remember that i know nothing about anything, thank you

“Hey, Captain!” called a grinning engineer, coveralls down about her waist. “Good to see you up and about!”

Ah.

Shiro let his shades fall down, slapping against the sides of his nose with gentle pressure. He angled a grin and a wave, and said, “Hey yourself,” and was content to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket and amble on over toward a big beauty all by herself on the far side.

He had been hoping not to be recognized.

More than that, he had been hoping not to be recognized in direct correlation to his disease. It wasn’t as though it weren’t a part of him, obviously -- he had to deal with it, he had to adjust the world around him to factor it in. It was there, always. But there had been a reason he’d kept it so under wraps. Shiro preferred when it was only ever acknowledged as an afterthought -- he wanted people to see him, not some version of him distorted by sickness.

At least the ‘ships were still beautiful and the summer breeze nice. He made it through the rest of the ‘yard without incident, taking a slow, curving path toward what looked to be a Corona Class vessel. Bulky, heavily shielded, made to withstand longer bouts of radiation than most of the fighters. Her cargo bay was a massive belly on the back half of her fuselage; she had to be hell on turns. And she was just as beautiful close up as she’d been at a distance. Even with his sunglasses on half of the ‘ship was a glare of sun on metal too bright to see through. It didn’t bother him; he knew a good freighter when he saw one.

Shiro came to an unsteady, grateful stop in the shadow of her nose, trying to ignore the way the world had slowly started spinning lopsided on its axis on the way over. He really should have brought his cane, but also: fuck his cane.

“Hello gorgeous,” he called up to the cockpit, nearly as bulbous as her cargo bay.

To his surprise, a voice called back: “You flatterer!”

Startled, Shiro took a step backward and nearly lost his footing, muscles not quite responding how they ought. Damn. He hadn’t realized there was anyone here. The ‘ship had been quiet the whole way over, and -- oh.

That was a torso and head rearing up from the cockpit, the top of which was apparently popped.

Shiro hadn’t been able to tell with the sun shining through the quartz glass at this angle. Ohhh shit, Shiro thought, embarrassed, as the person leaned down over the side of it and laughingly said, “I could say the same to you, Captain! I did not expect to see you here.”

“I didn’t mean you,” Shiro muttered, but he had a feeling his voice had carried with the wind because the shadowy blob nearly twenty feet overhead snickered a little. So Shiro said, louder, “I was talking to the ‘ship. I can’t even see you.”

“Just a minute and I can fix that!” the voice said, cheerily enough.

Shiro squinted through his shades, still embarrassed, and watched as the figure disappeared back into the ‘ship. The cockpits on freighter class vessels were only released for maintenance or in the case of critical emergencies out in the black. That high up in the air it wasn’t feasible to get in and out of in anything less than zero-G. A moment later and the cargo door dropped open with a creaking groan beneath the ‘ship’s high-mounted tail.

Shiro considered turning around and wandering off the way he’d come. But --

He had left the apartment because he couldn’t stand to be there, trapped. He had never felt trapped inside a spacecraft, though, even one that was grounded. And what was one person versus a whole Garrison full of them, which he’d have to traverse again if he wanted to leave. He’d been stopped only once on the way out here, yes, but there was no telling how many might stop him a second time.

And besides. He was pretty certain he wasn’t going to be able to make the walk without issue, if the numbness spreading through his shoulder, now, was any indication.

Fuck, this was awful. What was the best option here? Suddenly he felt tired all over again, weary and worn down, hating how something once so simple had become so complex. He’d just wanted to see the damn spaceships. Fuck this relapse, and fuck himself for not putting on the damned pump when his doctor had told him to.

“Hey, Captain!” the voice called once more, peering out at him, crouched absurdly halfway down the lowered ramp. “Do you want to check my girl out or not?”

The grin smudging against the corners of his mouth in response to that casual, boasting question was all the reason Shiro needed to feel better about staying right here, at least. Hands in his pockets, Shiro carefully ambled on over to the back half of the ‘ship, working hard to keep it natural looking. “Corona Class, right? I recognize the body type, but I didn’t realize there were any still in active use. There were only, hm… three? Before I left for Kerberos.”

“Yup. Helen’s the last one standing. And she’s been refitted, too, so she’s super sexy. I bet you’ve never seen anything like her.”

Snorting, Shiro finally came around aft and put a cautious foot up on the heavy metal of the cargo door, converted into a ramp here where it had thumped into the ground. “I bet I haven’t,” Shiro agreed peaceably enough. He always enjoyed it when pilots were a little in love with their ‘ships. Somehow it made him trust them more.

“Come on, come on, get up here! I never thought I’d get to show off for Captain Shirogane, I’m about to pee myself in excitement here, come on.”

“Whoa,” said Shiro, brows skyrocketing and finding a hand thrust down to help him up the ramp. The sight made something tighten inside his chest, and it was on the tip of his tongue to protest that he didn’t need any help, thank you, he knew his way around a fucking freighter. But then he followed that hand up to the man it apparently belonged to and recognized him.

“Oh,” said Shiro, startled. “You’re -- Ensign Maine, right? From the uh. The press conference?”

The ensign had risen from his crouch and come to stand sideways, staring back into the belly of the ‘ship. His hand was wiggling in impatience, and considering his past experience with this particular ensign, Shiro had the sudden, strong impression that it hadn’t been held out in deference to Shiro’s potential delicacy, and instead simply because he was eager to get Shiro in and started on the tour and this was the compromise to coming down, grabbing Shiro by his jacket, and hauling him bodily up the ramp.

Huh.

Shiro was about to go ahead and take that hand, because he could probably use the help even if he didn’t want it, and this kind of offer was far more palatable than his first assumption. But at the question, the ensign squawked, swinging around to face him. Standing farther up the incline as he was, it put him taller than Shiro, and his eyes were dark and wide, mouth gaping open in ridiculous, dramatic affront. “Maine,” he said, indignant. “That -- totally not my name, oh my god. Have you thought -- ? Agh! And all this time I’ve been so excited that I actually talked to you and you didn’t even know my name, what --”

Shiro reached up and snagged the ensign’s hand in his, tugging hard, just to get him to shut up. And also maybe because he wanted to. Just a little. Smirking, Shiro said, “I still remember you. Sorry I got the name wrong. What is it?”

He would have looked for himself, but for whatever reason this ensign seemed determined to make it impossible to see the damned name sewn onto his clothes. He was in orange again today, but this time it was a dirty coverall, the upper portion shrugged off to revealed toned biceps and forearms and what appeared to be a firm chest beneath a too-tight white undershirt. Happily, it was still just bright enough on the ramp that Shiro hadn’t had to take off his sunglasses, so the guy wouldn’t be able to tell where Shiro’s gaze was lingering. He let himself appreciate the way the ensign’s bicep bulged like a softball as he took Shiro’s weight, standing firm.

Nice.

“McClain,” said the man, now grinning down at him. It was a very white grin, big and bright in a lean, handsome face, and Shiro finally reached up to twitch his sunglasses atop his head, because Ensign McClain was officially pretty enough for eye-candy and -- yep, those eyes were blue, dark and a little wicked with that glint in them.

“Nice to meet you, Ensign McClain,” Shiro said.

McClain waggled his brows and drew Shiro a little closer, up half a step onto the ramp. “The pleasure, Captain,” he teased, “is all mine. Trust me on that one.”

#a thousand apologies for a great many things #up to and including the length of that author's note lmao #thank you for your prompt!!#shance #shance au #i honestly love this story #but it's moving VERY SLOWLY #i hope this isn't too awful out of context???#vld #shiro #lance #it's been TOO LONG since i posted up some shance #my fic #cynoftheend

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relaxedreptile · 6 years ago

Text

A Phone Call (and 10,000 miles) Away

Pairing: Felix X Reader

A/N: So many of you had asked for a continuation of Lucid and while I don’t plan on writing that specifically, this is about two internet friends meeting in real life! I tried to pull from my own experiences for this one but, admittedly, it’s been a while since I used kik.

Happy May!

You owed a lot to the internet.

It had an endless bounty of information you needed to write papers, was your biggest source of things you didn’t really need to buy, and your go-to for pictures of cute dogs.

Most importantly, it’s the reason you met your best friend.

Barely anyone was a stranger to scrolling through their Instagram feed to waste time and you found yourself giving in to temptation one day during a lunch period that you didn’t really share with anybody that you knew. After seeing a post about some app called “kik” and a group chat that was being made on there, you did some investigating.

Intrigued, you made an account and commented your ID under the post (thank god you found it again) before the bell rang. Hoping you would make it into the chat and that you had made the right choice, you packed up your things and started on your way to class.

At the end of the day, you let out a silent squeal of happiness after seeing the extra notifications on your screen. You sat in your usual seat on the bus before scrolling through the messages in the group chat.

After the bar at the top let everyone know that you were active, you were sent sweet messages that welcomed you and introduced themselves.

Most of the users had profile pictures of anime characters, celebrities, or their pets, but there was one boy who had a head-on selfie.

The app told you his name was Felix and his picture told you he was insanely confident.

You didn’t really blame him all that much.

You sent an introduction of your own, still giddy because of the risk you knew you were taking by joining this group chat. You could hear your father telling you to never talk to strangers on the internet as if he was sharing the seat with you but shushed his voice out of your head after the flood of replies came in.

There were only ten people in the chat including you and it was named after the app you found this opportunity through.

Y/N: This is goodbye until I finish my homework :(

ethanlovesdogs: We love a studious queen

bridgetk123: noooo don’t leave!!

LeeFelix0915: Last minute much? Lol

Your eyes flicked over the clock that sat on your nightstand and just like you thought it would, it told you that it was barely past 6 pm, what was Felix talking about?

Y/N: Dunno bout you but I think 6 is pretty damn early for homework

LeeFelix0915: Six??? It’s like eight

bridgetk123: my clock says noon?

beyoncemarryme: Guys!! Timezones!!

girlslovegirlsboys: Time is a social construct

You mentally hit your forehead, remembering that your country wasn’t the only one in the world (because apparently that’s something one can just forget).

bridgetk123: omg!! where are u guys from??

ethanlovesdogs: The lesser known city of Los Angeles.

girlslovegirlsboys: Born in London. Raised in Belfast.

LeeFelix0915: Australia

superwholock24: Bro you 2??

LeeFelix0915: Yoooo whereabout??

While the two honorary neighbors obsessed over the revelation, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. None of the other members of the group chat really lived that close to you and this acted as a wake-up call.

Sure, you were having so much fun talking to this array of people, but was this all it would ever be? Would you ever get to meet these people?

LeeFelix0915: HBU Y/N?

bridgetk123: don’t tell me you left without telling us :(

ethanlovesdogs: maybe they’re just uncomfortable :/

You cleared it up in the chat quickly, sending the city you lived in and making a lighthearted joke about being so far away. It made you feel a little bit better, laughing about it.

It made it seem like a smaller obstacle.

Before turning your phone on Do Not Disturb, you said goodbye and glanced over at your clock again.

Fourteen hours, huh?

You managed to restrain yourself long enough to finish your math homework but couldn’t hold back after turning on your laptop to start the preparation for research project.

“How many miles away is Australia?” Your searchbar read.

10,000, apparently. Give or take.

Doable. Totally doable.

At first, you didn’t tell anyone around you about your new friends, afraid you would get shit for it.

As time went on, it got too complicated trying to cover up stories like Ethan kissing Mark Wahlberg’s star on the Walk of Fame (and getting strep immediately after) when none of the people you knew in real life were close enough to Hollywood to do it themselves.

It was honestly easier than you expected, eventually telling your friends at school or your family who you were actually texting.

The worst conversation you had about it was with your dad. There wasn’t really any judgment on his part, maybe a little confusion but that was expected.

“Doesn’t it suck, though? Not getting to see them everyday?”

It did suck. It sucked so bad, in fact, that the next thing you knew you were curled under your sheets in the safety of your bed with a lump in your chest and your fingers instinctively going to open up kik.

Your brain let them open the app but stopped them before they could send any message and sent a signal through your body that made the lump grow bigger.

Is it worth it? Will I just make this worse for myself if I pour my heart out and depend on people that I don’t get to see?

Before these thoughts had a chance to fester, your phone buzzed and you were met with a message from the chat.

LeeFelix0915: Finally someone else is on

You hesitated.

LeeFelix0915: Hello? Earth to Y/N…

Making up your mind, you clicked out of the group chat and started a new one, a private one, with Felix.

Y/N: Hey mind if we talk over here instead?

LeeFelix0915: Should I be worried

You couldn’t help but laugh before trying your best to explain your feelings to Felix in the most concise way possible, fully aware that you were just babbling and most likely weren’t making much sense but you just needed someone else to know what was going on inside your head. These thoughts were suffocating and you needed someone to give you air.

LeeFelix0915: Oh honey don’t worry about any of that

LeeFelix0915: You guys are just as much of my friends as the people I see in school everyday

LeeFelix0915: I only talk to some of those people BECAUSE I seem them everyday!! But I deal with you guys voluntarily lol that’s love

How did Felix have such a talent for cheering people up? He was like a breath of fresh air that brought happiness wherever it blew, reflecting on his name.

Y/N: Thanks Felix <3 sorry for bugging you I just really needed to get this shit off my chest

LeeFelix0915: No apologies necessary, that’s what friends are for babe

Babe. He called you babe. You held your phone to your chest and let out a little squeal, unable to help yourself.

Felix read into your silence and assumed you needed more encouragement, so he decided to send you a selfie of him in bed.

He was on his stomach, propped up on his elbow with his hair in his eyes and you couldn’t remember the last time you saw something so attractive.

LeeFelix0915: I’m going to send a picture of myself everyday from now on

LeeFelix0915: This way you can say you see me everyday

LeeFelix0915: Technology’s pretty great right?

Y/N: A couple thousand miles has got nothing on you

Y/N: Felix Lee, why didn’t you tell me you had freckles?????

LeeFelix0915: They’re literally in my profile picture

Y/N: How am I supposed to tell from that tiny circle!!

LeeFelix0915: They have these cool things called eyes now

LeeFelix0915: And zooming in

Y/N: Your freckles are too cute for you to not include them in your intro

LeeFelix0915: You think I’m cute?

Y/N: I said your freckles were

Y/N: But yes

You could feel the fire beneath the skin on your cheeks after sending the risky message and you had never felt so much like a teenager.

LeeFelix0915: Good to know

LeeFelix0915: Because I have eyes I can see you’re really cute too, judging from your profile picture

LeeFelix0915: That is you, isn’t it?

Deciding to be bold, you lay down on your bed and mimic the pose from Felix’s photo before taking one of your own and sending it.

Y/N: C’est moi

LeeFelix0915: Damn I was right

Y/N: No secret freckles tho

LeeFelix0915: Mine weren’t a secret!!

The two of you bantered back and forth for a few more minutes until he said that it was time for him to go to class. You teased him a little, about how you were already done for the day (technically yesterday) before regretfully sending a goodbye back.

You opened the photo he sent you one more time before turning your phone off and squealing into your pillow.

From then on, you and Felix began to text each other privately more and more while maintaining your attendance on the group chat. Since the two of you were on kik the most frequently (ironic, considering the time difference), it just made a little more sense to use your own chat when the others weren’t on. If something started up in the group chat, you guys multitasked and continued on with both conversations.

bridgetk123: guys guys guys guys GUYS

Y/N: what what what what WHAT

LeeFelix0915: Someone’s excited

superwholock24: Oi what’s up

bridgetk123: we need ethan here or i can’t say anything

Y/N: Ugh

ethanlovesdogs: Oh god, should I be scared?

bridgetk123: wow

bridgetk123: i thought you would be a little more excited about MEETING ME IN JUNE

ethanlovesdogs: Excuse me

Y/N: OMG

superwholock24: Why choose California when you can come to Australia and get TWO for ONE

bridgetk123: as much as i love you and your country Jisoo, California is a lot closer and cheaper lol

ethanlovesdogs: Please tell me you’re not messing with me

bridgetk123: no way. my mom is going to Hollywood for a retreat and convinced her to let me come along so as long as you’re okay with it…

ethanlovesdogs: ASDFGHJKL BITCH OF COURSE I’M OKAY WITH IT WHAT DAY ILL TAKE YOU EVERYWHERE

Before you could send your message of congratulations (you were so happy that your friends were getting to meet each other), your phone buzzed, alerting you of a new message from Felix.

LeeFelix0915: Hey can we talk?

Y/N: Is everything alright Lix?

LeeFelix0915: Yeah

LeeFelix0915: I’m just a little jealous

You didn’t have to ask to know what he was talking about.

Honestly, you were a little surprised that you weren’t jealous of Bridget and Ethan for getting this opportunity. You were just too happy for them.

LeeFelix0915: I don’t know we’ve all been talking on here for almost a year and I’ve only met up with Jisoo because he’s like an hour away from me

Y/N: It’s just a little harder for the rest of us :( believe me, I would do anything to meet all of you guys

LeeFelix0915: I know I know

LeeFelix0915: It just sucks being so cut off, you know? Even Bridget said it herself, I feel like I live in the middle of fucking nowhere

Y/N: You’re only a plane ride away Lix

LeeFelix0915: I love it when you call me that

LeeFelix0915: You have a point tho

Y/N: Think of it this way! You and I live on opposite sides of the world and we still managed to find a way to meet each other

Y/N: The universe is on our side!!

LeeFelix0915: I thank the universe for you everyday <3

Y/N: You’re so fcking cheesy Lix lmao <3

Decisions, decisions.

Your parents, impressed with your grades and achievements from your senior year, sat you down and told you they wanted to reward you.

They said they were so incredibly proud of your hardwork and told you that you could have anything you wanted as a parting gift before you were off to college, within reason.

Your eyes flickered over to your phone after hearing the familiar buzz of a notification. The screen was filled by Felix’s face (one of his daily selfies that he still sent) and you smiled to yourself, having made up your mind on what you were going to ask your parents for.

What if he doesn’t come?

You had sent the text to your parents immediately after letting them know you landed safely in Australia, desperately in need of some reassurance.

Honey. If this boy has managed to woo you like he has, it’s genuine. He’ll be there.

You smiled at your dad’s text.

And if he doesn’t, I’ll fly out and kick his ass.

You laughed at your mom’s.

Felix didn’t believe you when you told him at first and didn’t believe you until you sent him a picture of you holding the tickets (the group chat still makes fun of him for taking so long). He had immediately switched into travel agent mode, recommending hotels and restaurants and cities all over the country before Bridget knocked some sense into him.

bridgetk123: they’re going to see you dummy not the opera house

girlslovegirlsboys: How can you be sure they’re not going for Jisoo?

Once Felix got the hint, he started messaging you privately to work out everything instead.

You even fit some time in to visit Jisoo, too.

After almost two years of talking to Felix (you only had a general idea of when you joined the group chat and you kinda sorta wanted to know the exact day), you trusted him enough to know he would be waiting for you like he promised. If he wasn’t, it would be because something big came up like a giant scorpion roaming the streets or whatever other scary things lived in this country.

As you wheeled your luggage through the airport, you allowed yourself a few seconds to look around and take in the surroundings. It really didn’t look any different from home and it’s not like you didn’t understand the language but there was something about Australia that made you want to explore, try new things, embody a whole new person.

A part of you wondered if something venomous had already bitten you and that’s why you were acting this way, but the rest welcomed the new mindset.

You studied the signs above you, following the arrows that promised to lead you out of your terminal and to the entrance of the airport where you would be meeting your best friend for the first time.

Finding yourself in a densely packed crowd of people, you scanned every face looking for a familiar one before your eyes landed on a shock of blonde hair and a constellation of freckles.

Your suitcase was left behind as you ran to meet Felix halfway, ignoring the way your backpack slammed against your body with each step.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist as you buried your neck in their owner’s shoulder to pull them closer.

Felix turned his head to the side to place a kiss on your cheek, making you squeeze him tighter.

“Hey, babe.”

You giggled and pulled away slightly to get a good look at his face without leaving Felix’s embrace.

“Your freckles are even prettier in person.”

Felix scoffed to try and distract you from the blush creeping onto his sun-kissed cheeks but it didn’t work.

“I can’t believe you almost made me wait a whole two years before I got to see you.”

“I sent you photos everyday, we both did!” You retorted.

“I can’t hug photos, I can’t watch movies with them, can’t squish their cheeks or-”

You put your hands on either side of his face and leaned in. Honestly, you only had innocent intentions to shut him up, but Felix did you both a favor and closed the distance between you two.

The kiss was short, but his lips were warm and soft and Felix’s grip on your waist made your head spin. It somehow made up for two years in the span of a couple seconds.

“Come on,” he said once you both pulled away, “let’s go grab your suitcase.”

You grabbed each other’s hands, reducing 10,000 miles to 0.

#lee felix #felix #felix fluff #felix angst #stray kids #stray kids fanfiction #skz #skz fanfiction #rr:lee felix

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